What To Consider Before Dating A Coworker To Protect Your Career And Professional Reputation
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer.
It’s easy to understand why so many people fall for their coworkers.
Let’s address the main elephant in the room: sheer time spent together. Think about it: once you graduate from school and head into the workforce, much of your weekly socialization time is spent with your colleagues.
And aside from just proximity, the daily stressors and triumphs can cause you to really bond with someone. Whether it’s late nights pouring over a sales presentation or celebratory drinks after closing a deal, these experiences can cause you to truly connect with your team members.
However, is it smart to date someone you work with? Let’s discuss.
The Taboo Of Office Romance
No matter where you work, there is likely a stigma surrounding in-office romances. This is particularly prevalent when supervisors or “higher-ups” date subordinate employees.
Consider the plot of “Grey’s Anatomy” for a second. The whole show starts when Meredith Grey unknowingly sleeps with her new boss, and the challenges it throws her way, both emotional and professional, are exorbitant.
Sure, this show is fiction and definitely dramatized in more ways than one. But at its core, the idea that falling for your boss can be a risky rollercoaster isn’t wrong.
NDABCREATIVITY – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
If you date a superior, an inherent power imbalance is created in your relationship. Suddenly, the person you’re climbing into bed with also has the power to sway your performance reviews or promotion opportunities.
This can lead to toxicity in your relationship and create an unfair playing field for your coworkers.
Not to mention, seeing any kind of colleague, whether they’re a supervisor or not, may eliminate the boundary between your work life and your personal life.
It’s important to have that distinction so you can mentally “clock out.” When that line is blurred, you may feel that some of your work-life balance is compromised.
Finally, if you date someone who is on “your level” in the office, there are still other concerns, such as team dynamics shifting. And if you two ultimately break up, the fallout could make working together, as well as with others, awkward or uncomfortable.
What Are The Career Impacts?
While plenty of people have met “the one” at work, this outcome isn’t guaranteed, and there are immediate drawbacks.
For starters, no matter if you agree with this or not, many people still find in-office romances to be unprofessional. Regardless of whether you are abiding by your company’s policy, the news of your in-office relationship could potentially damage your professional reputation.
You may be confided in less if colleagues believe you will share your discussions with your partner. Or, if any inkling of favoritism becomes apparent between you and your partner, it can make tensions rise quickly.
And, of course, if you ultimately split up, the emotional impacts can bleed into your professional life. You may find it hard to remain cordial in the office or stay on top of your work.
This has the potential to impede performance, strain your relationships with other colleagues, and make you lose out on opportunities.
Consider These Things Before Dating A Coworker
With all of these risks now said, it’s true that sometimes you just can’t deny your feelings. That’s why so many in-office romances wind up happening anyway, against our mind’s better judgment.
If your heart is telling you to go for it, you can. Just be sure to consider these factors to protect your position and career.
First, before you even think about dating a colleague, look over your company’s workplace relationship policy. You can find out whether romantic relationships are allowed and if there are any associated guidelines for working alongside partners. Most importantly, determine whether you need to report your relationship to HR.
Sometimes, it’s a good idea to report your relationship even if there isn’t a strict policy in place. This shows transparency, can maintain a healthy work environment, and will mitigate any future misunderstandings.
Secondly, truly think about how your relationship has the potential to change your career.
Will your day-to-day routine change? Are you able to compartmentalize any romantic issues or emotional feelings while you’re in the office to work together productively? Are you confident that you can remain objective while making decisions without your partner’s influence?
Lastly, mentally prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome. It’s great to be optimistic and hope for long-term relationship success, but it’s perhaps more important to be realistic.
So, consider what you will do in the event of a bad breakup. Would you be open to moving to a different department or working at another company location? In severe circumstances, are you okay with the possibility of finding a new workplace entirely?
These questions are huge and terrifying. That’s no secret. But while relationships can be fickle, your career can last until retirement (if that’s what you want).
Don’t sacrifice what you have worked so hard for on a spontaneous, emotionally driven whim. Think logically, proceed carefully, and with some careful consideration, in-office romances can be manageable.
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