She Just Found Out That Her Husband Had A Child Through IVF With One Of His Exes And Kept It A Secret From Her All Year
Six years ago, when this woman first began dating her 44-year-old husband, he disclosed to her that he made embryos with two of his exes. This happened a decade ago with her husband’s most recent ex.
Her husband and one of his exes, whom he was married to, already had a child together, so she wanted to be certain her husband wouldn’t have any more children with other women.
“I asked him to check whether or not they were planning on using them and if they were willing to discard them because in the case they were, I was unwilling to continue the relationship as I only wanted one stepchild,” she explained.
“He did so with only one of the two women, and she told him she wasn’t interested in them anymore and didn’t even pay for the storage of them at that point. He didn’t check with the other, but he told me everything was handled.”
Now, her husband’s child from his ex-wife is 8-years-old; she has a child with her husband, who is nearly 2, and she’s also pregnant with their second child, due soon.
This past January, her husband found out that his ex, with whom he never had a child, decided to use one of the embryos they made and was three months pregnant.
Instead of telling her, her husband kept this a complete secret. He only confessed to her yesterday that he fathered a child with another woman via IVF, and his daughter was born not too long ago.
Not only that, her husband has visited his daughter twice while away for work trips (his ex lives in a separate country).
He maintains that his ex doesn’t want him to be a present dad and hasn’t asked him to provide a single thing.
His ex may decide he will not be allowed to see his daughter, and he isn’t listed on the little girl’s birth certificate, so he’s afraid to develop an attachment. She questioned her husband about why he finally decided to let his secret out.
“…He told me because he didn’t know what that meant for him and because he was afraid I would leave him over it,” she added.
If she had known back in January, she absolutely would have walked away from her husband. She got pregnant with their second child not that long after her husband found out about his surprise daughter.
She’s left wondering what on earth she should do. She’s hesitant to insist that her husband remain disconnected from his daughter, as she doesn’t think it’s right for her to dictate what he can or can’t do.
However, she agreed to have only one single stepchild, and there are suddenly and unexpectedly two. She’s worried that one day, this little girl will knock on her front door, seeking to form a connection with her husband.
If she does leave her husband over this, she’s upset that her children will have to grow up in different households.
She ultimately chose to send her husband’s ex a message explaining who she is while asking if she would be able to ask her a couple of questions in order to clarify a few things.
“She sent a long message back that simply said she didn’t want to be involved and did not want me taking her daughter away from her, that she doesn’t want anything to do with us and just wanted to be a mother, that she is with someone and that we had no rights to her daughter,” she continued.
“Then she deleted the message for everyone and blocked me and him.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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