Her Biological Father Suddenly Wants To Reconnect And Asked Her To Take A DNA Test, But She’s Afraid Of Disrupting Her Dynamic With Her Mom’s Husband, The Man Who Really Raised Her
Ever since this 28-year-old woman was a little girl, she’s been raised by her mom and her mom’s husband – who she’s always considered to be her dad.
“My mom married him when I was very young, and he has been the only father figure I’ve known,” she said.
But, out of the blue, her biological father recently reached out to her out of nowhere after not contacting her for years. She found out that he’d been following her life “from a distance,” and now, he wants to reconnect with her.
She wasn’t expecting this at all, but she still spoke to her biological father, and he claimed that he really wanted to be part of her life. However, he still asked that she get a DNA test in order to confirm their father-daughter relationship.
“He said this test is important to him, as it would help solidify his place in my life and ensure that our connection is genuine,” she recalled.
While she gets where her biological father is coming from, the idea still makes her uncomfortable.
She believes that her mom’s husband, her dad, is the man who actually raised her and was there for her throughout everything. So, she feels as though her relationship with her dad – not her biological father – is what truly defines her concept of “family.”
“And I worry that taking the test might complicate my current family dynamics or suggest that I’m questioning my relationship with my dad,” she added.
She tried to tell her biological father this as well and admitted that she wasn’t ready to take a DNA test at the moment. Plus, she made it clear that she already values her current relationship with her dad and the rest of her family exactly the way it is.
Monkey Business – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Unfortunately, her biological father didn’t take this well, and he thinks that by refusing to take a DNA test, she’s saying that she doesn’t value them connecting and being involved in each other’s lives.
She, on the other hand, is also stressed out since she really doesn’t want to compromise her boundaries or her loyalty to the family members who’ve always been there for her.
This has left her wondering if not wanting to take the test and potentially messing up the dynamic she has with the man who raised her is justified or if it makes her a jerk.
Is her hesitancy understandable? Should she feel pressured to take a DNA test if she isn’t ready yet? What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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