She’s Expected To Both Work Full-Time And Take Care Of All The Housework While Her Husband Stays Home With Their Baby, And She Doesn’t Think It’s Fair
When a couple decides to have children and one parent will stay at home while the other works, it’s usually expected that that parent will also do housework and potentially cook in addition to taking care of the children.
A woman is angry at her husband, who gets to be a stay-at-home dad while she works and still expects her to do all the housework and cooking.
She and her husband used to both work full-time and discussed having children a year ago. At the time, she knew she would want to stop working for a while to adjust to motherhood and be a stay-at-home mom because she saw how stressful trying to hold down a job and being a new mom could be.
Her husband agreed with her and said he was fine with that idea, and then they started trying for kids.
A few months later, she was pregnant, and during that time, her husband did a lot of research and had a change of heart, strongly desiring to be a stay-at-home dad after their baby was born.
She agreed to the change of plans and gave birth to their daughter, Lily, five months ago. She was on paid maternity leave but had to return to work a little over two months ago while her husband stayed home with Lily.
She figured her husband would not only take care of the baby but also do some cooking and cleaning, considering she was working all day and would be exhausted by the time she returned home.
Unfortunately, that hasn’t been the case.
“Whenever I arrive home, I just want to relax, but my husband always hands me Lily before shutting himself in his office and tells me to watch her since he is tired,” she explained.
Tamara Sales – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She understands how caring for a baby and home is difficult, but her husband hasn’t been doing much in their home. It’s been a mess every night, littered with clutter and dirty dishes and laundry.
Her husband also hasn’t been cooking, so every night, after getting home from work, she spends at least two hours cleaning the house, watches Lily for the rest of the night, and cooks for her and her husband.
“I want to make it clear Lily is and never will be a burden, but all of this has taken a large toll on my mental and physical health,” she admitted.
“I decided to sit my husband down and suggested getting a babysitter while he looked for a job, but he seemed appalled that I would even suggest such a thing.”
She told her husband it wasn’t fair that she had to support them financially on top of taking care of the house and that their current way of living was unsustainable for her.
Her husband became furious, telling her she wasn’t acknowledging all the “sacrifices” he made and accusing her of not caring about their daughter. That night, he locked himself in his office and refused to come out the next morning, forcing her to skip work and stay home.
Part of her feels guilty, as she knows how hard it can be to care for an infant for most of the day, but she just had to speak up about how hard this routine has been on her.
What do you think she and her husband should do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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