Her Husband Wants His Aging Parents To Move In, But She’s Angry That His Brother Isn’t Stepping Up
Many adults feel pressured into caring for their parents full-time when they get older, and they don’t know how to say no.
This woman is unsure what to do now that her husband is adamant about letting his parents move in with them because they’re becoming too old to live alone, and his brother won’t pitch in.
She and her husband are in their 30s and have been married for six years. They also have a 20-month-old daughter.
Her husband’s parents live six hours away from them. His mom is 69, and his dad is 79-years-old, and they are close to her husband’s 34-year-old brother and his family.
Given their proximity, her in-laws have taken great care of her brother-in-law and his family, babysitting their children and helping them with anything they needed.
Now, her in-laws are getting up there in age, and doing those things, as well as caring for themselves is becoming a struggle. Not long ago, her mother-in-law had a stroke, and her brother-in-law, instead of stepping up, claimed he was “too anxious” to visit his mother in the hospital, so her husband made an emergency trip to see her and help out.
“His brother got everything handed over to him,” she said.
“He never had to pay for daycare for his kids, his dad drove him to and from work for two years, and now that his parents need care, he is too anxious, and we have to step in.”
Since his father’s stroke, her husband’s mom hasn’t been treating herself right, eating like garbage despite her diabetes and constantly complaining, putting stress on her husband.
tatyana_k – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
It’s gotten to the point that her husband thinks the best solution to his parents’ problems would be to let them live with them and their daughter, especially due to the fact that his brother isn’t offering any assistance.
But she believes this would be a stressful situation, as while her in-laws could help them with their daughter, save money on childcare, and they’d make a ton of memories, there would still be some downsides to having them living under the same roof.
Her mother-in-law can be extremely negative and rude, throwing criticism out left and right, which she suspects could hurt her family’s feelings and prevent their friends from wanting to come over.
She and her husband would also have to sell their house, which they’ve only been in for two years and spent a long time customizing.
“I am worried about the negativity around my daughter, the outbursts my husband will have on his mother due to her lack of self-care, and it’s safe to say I am freaking out,” she admitted.
“My husband sees a lot more pros than cons.”
Would she be a bad wife for refusing to take in her in-laws, or is it a good idea she speaks her mind?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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