7 Signs Your Partner Is Needy
It’s Normal To Want To Be Close To Someone, But That Desire Can Become Neediness Easily
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. If you’ve ever fallen head over heels for someone, then you know that love can feel all-encompassing. Maybe you’d never felt such a “spark” before, so all of a sudden, you craved spending every waking moment with your partner and blending your lives together completely.
But while it’s natural to want to feel close to your significant other, that same desire can cross the line into dangerous “needy” territory pretty quickly.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Needy
When you start to put someone on a pedestal, you essentially put all of your eggs in their basket and lose control over your own emotions.
And if you’ve ever had a needy or clingy partner, then you know how overwhelming that can be. Not only do you quickly feel responsible for their sense of security and well-being, but you usually wind up sacrificing your own sanity in the process.
So, whether it’s due to a “honeymoon phase” infatuation that never subsided, a fear of abandonment, or just low self-esteem, here are seven signs that you’re dating a needy partner.
1. They Blow Up Your Phone (And Expect You To Answer Immediately)
Even though communication forms the backbone of stable relationships, it’s totally possible to go overboard, too. Have you ever been at work, with family, or spending time with friends when your partner started bombarding you with texts or calls? Plus, if you didn’t get back to them right away, did they become upset or angry?
No one, not even a significant other, deserves complete access to your life. You’re also entitled to some space, and remember that a bit of mystery actually helps keep things exciting.
2. They Need Constant Validation
Whether someone struggles with anxiety or not, we can all use a bit of reassurance from time to time. But it’s not fair to burden your significant other with constant demands for validation.
Maybe your partner needs you to “approve” all of their decisions and make them feel secure in their choices. Or they just want you to constantly reiterate how you feel about them and your relationship. Unless you’ve given your partner any reason to doubt your loyalty or love, this is needy behavior that can get exhausting.
3. They Disregard Your Boundaries
You should be allowed (and even encouraged) to have boundaries in your relationship. Yet, needy partners often have trouble respecting them.
Perhaps you value personal space, but they keep barging in and intruding on your alone time. Or they may try to interfere in your outside relationships and isolate you from other people in your life.
Regardless of how it’s done, boundary-crossing is a major red flag because it sends a message that your partner doesn’t respect your needs. Instead, they’re only thinking about themselves.
4. They Lean On You For Everything
Life is already hard enough, so when you’re dating someone who constantly relies on you for practically everything, it can feel downright draining. From emotional support to decision-making, planning, and even chore completion, a needy partner’s lofty expectations can make them seem more like a child than a significant other.
Realize that the best relationships are formed when two whole individuals come together to create a partnership. No one person should be constantly depended upon to solve the other’s problems, and if that’s the case, you’re stuck in an imbalanced relationship that’s just not sustainable.
5. They Watch Your Every Move
Similar to blowing up your phone, a needy partner might also watch your every move. This could range from going through your email to stalking your social media activity and even checking your location constantly. Again, if you haven’t betrayed them or broken their trust, this behavior just isn’t warranted or healthy.
Rather, it suggests that your partner has some deep-rooted fears, which they’re projecting onto you and your relationship.
6. They’ve Lost Their Sense Of Individuality
It’s extremely important to maintain your sense of self when you enter a relationship. By holding onto friendships, relationships with family members, personal goals, and hobbies, you stay in touch with the person you were “before,” effectively preventing the loss of your individuality.
However, your partner may have ditched their friends and integrated themselves into your own social circles. They might’ve also given up on their own personal interests and delved into yours instead. Becoming a part of your significant other’s life and trying things they enjoy is a nice way to show that you care. But when your entire world starts to revolve around your partner, it’s a telltale sign of neediness.
7. They Act Jealous Or Possessive
Finally, it’s okay to feel jealous from time to time. Yet, consistent jealousy and possessiveness are surefire ways to damage trust in relationships. This could range from discouraging friendships to monitoring your texts or repeatedly accusing you of flirting in innocent scenarios.
Ironically, your partner might suffer from jealousy due to fear that you’ll break their trust. But, in reality, the lack of trust they have in you is what ultimately drives you away.
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