She Wants To Dump Her Boyfriend Since He Acts Like His Daughter Should Inherit Her Money And Even Said She Should Put Her In Her Will
This 37-year-old woman has been working to better her financial situation for years, and now that her efforts are finally coming to fruition, her 42-year-old boyfriend, Ben, keeps acting as if his daughter is an “heiress” who’s entitled to her help.
For some context, this last year of her life has been especially amazing. She landed three business accounts that helped her decrease her workload while still allowing her to reach her financial goals. Plus, she is completing a semester at college to get her training certification, so she downsized her rental while her sons temporarily stayed with her parents.
“My new place isn’t as nice looking as other places, but the price was a good cut from living expenses for me,” she explained.
“I can both walk to the office and college, and I hardly have to move my car for anything. I’m saving money that I’m putting into an account for my kids.”
However, her boyfriend Ben has taken issue with plenty of her decisions, starting with her new living space, which is a studio apartment. He apparently hates it because she had the option to rent another apartment closer to his daughter’s school, but if she had gone with that rental, Ben would’ve needed to join the lease to make up the cost difference.
At the time, she wasn’t ready to move in with her boyfriend since she was trying to focus on her education and her career. Still, Ben didn’t really get that.
“He told me that his daughter was disappointed because she would have liked a nice place to hang out,” she recalled.
“Ben lives in an apartment. It’s an average place with no problems or issues, so what he said came out as a weird remark.”
Next, her boyfriend started making more requests about her finances. He began by asking if she’d want to partner with him to launch a business, which she turned down since she was also funding her own venture and wasn’t even familiar with the industry he wanted to get into.
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Later, Ben noticed how she’d been purchasing a few nice items for herself, called her “loaded,” and claimed his daughter would make an “awesome protege.” He believes that, because she only has sons, she should treat his daughter extra special, saying his daughter is her “only chance to have a girl in the family.”
“Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good kid. I have never missed out on gifting her nice and thoughtful presents on her birthdays and the holidays, but his words created a sense of discomfort and disgust for me,” she admitted.
To be clear, she and Ben’s daughter have a fine relationship. Regardless, she has no intention of giving the girl any access to her money simply because Ben’s daughter is not her own child, and she feels like he’s pressuring her to take things away from her own kids in order to supply for her.
Things came to a head when she recently gave Ben’s daughter a short-term job one weekend. A cleaning lady at her office wasn’t available to work, so she hired Ben’s daughter to clean one Saturday morning and paid her for a job well done. Afterward, she even took his daughter to the mall to buy some makeup.
Yet, this still didn’t seem like enough for Ben, who began joking that his daughter would “start from the bottom and rise” to an executive position, like any kid in a family business. She waited until later, when they were alone in the car, to confront him about his expectations, and during that discussion, he actually mentioned the possibility of her putting his daughter in her will.
According to her, Ben laughed when he said it, so he might’ve been genuinely joking. Even so, she stayed quiet and thought he was out of line.
“I’ve worked so hard to give my kids a better future, and it’s taken me over 10 years, and the fact that he only sees the results without taking my past and my ordeal into consideration feels disrespectful,” she reasoned.
She also pointed out how Ben had wanted her to change her budget and get a different rental property, despite that not being feasible for her. She tried to make it crystal clear that she wouldn’t be making any unnecessary sacrifices for him.
In response, he had nothing to say and just stormed out of her car, walking away with a “weak smirk.” It made her feel pretty bad, too, and she was forced to drive slowly next to him and convince him to get back inside her car.
She wound up dropping Ben off at his place, but still, the drama wasn’t over. He began sending her texts, saying she was “disconnected” from the idea of a true blended family and accusing her of being a hypocrite who thinks his daughter is “inferior.”
“This has disturbed my inner peace because I’m just defending whatever legacy I have built, and having to do it against my partner just doesn’t feel right,” she noted.
Now, they both eventually apologized to each other, and while they tried to reconcile, Ben proposed that perhaps they could find some middle ground. However, his idea of a compromise was, again, talking about how she could help him start a business for his daughter.
At that point, she was thrust back into total frustration. She’d already put in the sweat equity to give herself and her own children financial stability, and she wasn’t ready to take on that responsibility all over again for Ben’s kid.
“I also don’t want to mix anything between business and pleasure because it’s my network and my contacts and, again, it could go very well, or it could be a [train wreck], and I don’t want that,” she added.
“I’m also concerned that he will ramp up and keep asking and asking for things.”
In the end, Ben tried to say that if she refused to help him, then he didn’t feel like they could build anything together. He even accused her of being “blinded” by her success and claimed she’d wake up one day single and lonely.
This pushed her to ask for a break in their relationship, and Ben freaked out. Now, she feels as if he’s just looking for a handout, and she wants to break up with him for good.
“We haven’t talked yet, but that’s my intention. I don’t see his kid as inferior at all. I just want to keep my money out of it,” she vented.
Nonetheless, before she officially ends things, she’s not sure if leaving Ben over his financial expectations would be the right thing to do or not.
Are Ben and his daughter entitled to any of her success, especially if she and Ben aren’t even married? Do you agree that his behavior is a red flag?
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