His Wife Is Convinced He’s Having An Affair With His Therapist And Trying To Make Him Find A New One
This 32-year-old man is a survivor of a horrific event, and he’s going to keep the details vague on purpose. Honestly, it left a wound on him, experiencing such a tragic situation.
Initially, he thought he was fine, but when he grew to lash out and feel disconnected from the world, he knew he needed to get some help.
He also struggled to sleep, had difficulties at his job, and constantly thought about what he could have done differently in the face of such ugliness.
He worried about what he could have done to have saved others at the time, or if it was in his power to have skipped over what happened entirely.
Then, he lost his patience with his 6-year-old daughter and began to hate the dad he was growing into. He avoided his daughter entirely, and his wife grew fed up with him.
Acknowledging he needed assistance, he reached out for help, found a therapist, and started medication, but it was a long road.
“And this came with two major issues – first, medication took a long time to start working and I was dealing with side effects before I ever felt the actual effect,” he explained.
“The other issue is that I had a hard time finding a therapist I could actually connect with. I don’t say they did anything wrong, but there was always a lot of silence, and what I felt was judgment involved. I felt guilty for not doing well, for not getting better, etc., but things eventually did get better.”
The medication helped for sure, but his therapist made the biggest difference for him. She made sure he was uncomfortably silent.
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She took an unconventional approach with their sessions and talked about her own life or easy topics in an effort to make him feel more comfortable and relaxed.
After a couple of sessions, he did feel better, and he’s been keeping that streak up for months on end. He has the ability to stop and think about his feelings.
Although he wishes he could sleep more, he’s happy to see improvements overall. He’s become a better dad and a better husband, thanks to his therapist.
Several weeks back, his car had to have some work done, so his wife gave him a ride to therapy. She even got to meet his therapist, and she chit-chatted with her for a bit before heading over to a playground with their daughter to kill some time while waiting for him.
As soon as she swung back around to get him, she obviously was worked up about something, yet she would not clue him in as to what that was.
“After a few days of her being distant, I confronted her again, and she eventually confessed that she thought I had a crush on my therapist,” she added.
“She said the therapist has arm tattoos, which she knows I like, and she says she saw the therapist touching her hair which indicates she’s into me as well, and she now thinks that the reason I’ve been doing better is that I’m feeling guilty about the affair I’m having.”
“I told my wife that I wasn’t having an affair. She’s not my mistress, she’s not even my friend, she’s a professional I pay to help me deal with my issue, and me doing well speaks for itself, and besides she could probably lose her license for dating a patient so even if there was something there nothing would ever happen, to which my wife said that I shouldn’t have an issue changing therapists then and finding someone less attractive (I don’t find my therapist particularly attractive, though I don’t think it’s relevant anyway).”
He let his wife know that he would not be finding a new therapist to make her feel less insecure. His therapist is someone he vibes with, and finding a new professional to help him is a terrible choice for his mental health.
Also, he’s hesitant to find a new therapist and reward his wife’s bad behavior. If his wife is unable to trust him, he feels that means there are larger issues that they have to tackle.
He’s confused about how he can address all this with his wife in a nice way. He does not want to talk to his therapist about this, as he’s concerned that it will impact their relationship.
Anyway, he’s curious if you think he’s a jerk for refusing to find a new therapist since his wife feels envious of the woman he’s currently working with.
What do you think?
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