Her Husband Is Too Close To His Ex-Wife, And She Feels Like This Woman Is The Third Person In Their Marriage
A year ago, this 40-year-old woman got married to her 54-year-old husband, and they have been together for four years in total.
Her husband was married once before her to his 53-year-old ex-wife, with whom he spent more than two decades.
Her husband and his ex-wife both state that their marriage wasn’t full of physical contact, and they acted more like roommates than anything else.
“He says he tried to bring them closer, but she’s a very solitary person and didn’t want to do much together. Eventually, they divorced amicably,” she explained.
Her husband and his ex-wife have two kids: a 17-year-old and a college-age kid. Following the divorce, her husband and his ex remained living in their enormous house together (just on different floors) so their kids would benefit from the stability.
Her husband’s ex started dating, and he kept busy running the house, caring for the kids, and working his job.
When she came into the picture, she and her husband were long-distance at first, and she found it odd that her husband and his ex very much so acted like a married couple despite the divorce.
“They still did family outings, dinners, and even stayed with his family as a “family of four” when his dad passed away,” she said.
“His ex-wife is still very close to his mum—they talk weekly and even have a family group chat where he, her, and his brother discuss their mum’s health and she weighs in heavily on things.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“I accepted it because I wasn’t trying to erase their shared history, but I’ve always felt like I was orbiting their old dynamic rather than joining something new. They lived together until she asked him to move out three years later—because she wanted her boyfriend to move in and said she found it hard to be “independent” with my husband still helping with everything.”
Although her husband no longer lives with his ex, she still phones him for everything, even if she’s feeling anxious or overburdened.
Her husband steps in to calm his ex down or help her work through various situations. When this woman’s car breaks down, her husband jumps in to swap rides with her, even though she has a boyfriend who could help.
Her husband knows so many details about his ex, including her daily routine, her mental health, and her new romance, and that makes her wildly uneasy.
Her husband’s ex turns to him in her times of need, not her own partner, and that’s what she finds deeply upsetting about all this.
It’s like her husband’s ex is the third person in their marriage.
What she’s most unhappy about is that her husband’s ex is purchasing a new home, and her money is tied to the old house that’s for sale. Her husband is offering to buy the new place for his ex, or he said his mom could co-sign for it.
“When I told him I was shocked, he said it’s “just money” and that he’d never let her end up on the street,” she continued.
“For context: she’s not anywhere near that situation he told me it’s “just money” and he doesn’t care. He even said he’d never let her end up “on the street which is laughable because she’s looking at luxury homes and could easily buy something reasonable without a co-signer.”
“He insists it’s just kindness, that there’s nothing inappropriate, and that she’s the mother of his children and he “owes her.” But I feel like I’m in a weird three-way marriage. I’ve sobbed trying to explain how this makes me feel. That this isn’t just about money—it’s about emotional boundaries, long-term dependency, and my place in all of this.”
Her husband maintains he’s simply helping, but she’s upset that he keeps coming up with excuses, and his ex continues to take advantage of him.
Her husband points out that if his ex does get married again, only then will he no longer feel responsible for her, but she doubts that.
She’s left wondering if she’s a jerk for expecting her husband to stop being there for his ex now that she’s the one married to him. She hates playing second best to a woman her husband is no longer with.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
More About:Relationships