He Feels Humiliated That His Wife Is Still Talking To Her Affair Partner
For close to a decade now, this 45-year-old man has been married to his 42-year-old wife. As they say, opposites attract, and that holds true for him and his wife.
He’s an introvert, while his wife is outgoing and social. Although they’re not so similar, they have not encountered problems in their marriage over the years, and they have two kids together, who are six and four.
But in the last two years, he and his wife started speaking less, and they quit being so physically close. When they were around one another, he could tell his wife was somewhere else.
He thought his wife was exhausted from taking care of their daughters and having a demanding job, leaving little time for him.
Then, three months ago, he ended up uncovering proof of his wife cheating on him with one of her male coworkers, whom she’s worked with for eight years and has been her friend for two decades.
This male coworker is a man who’s been super close to his whole family and who even lived in his house with him after encountering issues in his own marriage.
But anyway, he came across some suspicious messages on his wife’s phone, which she denied when he called her out.
Finally, his wife confessed to simply an emotional affair, but to him, it’s obvious the physical nature has gone on for two months or so, which his wife will not own up to.
“I have seen the messages they exchanged that say it was more than just a friendship. She said she feels ‘understood’ with him and that he gives her the attention she doesn’t get from me,” he explained.
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“I was broken. I never thought our marriage would come to this. After difficult conversations and many tears, she decided to end the affair and let us work on our marriage. However, what kills me inside is that he is still in contact with that man.”
“Since their affair was discovered by his wife and caused total chaos with him, my wife decided (probably in agreement with him) to stop working together and to take a break. ‘Save the marriage.'”
Divorce has crossed his mind, but his daughters convinced him otherwise. When he watches his little girls playing and sees how happy they are when he and his wife are with them, he can’t bring himself to destroy life as they know it.
So, he’s spent the last few months trying to cope while acting as if his life is going well. He’s requested therapy, but his wife refused and told him to give her some time.
He no longer feels as if he can trust his wife, since she still speaks to her affair partner on a daily basis.
“I feel trapped, helpless, and humiliated. I love my children more than anything, and I don’t want them to grow up in a divided home, but I also don’t know how much longer I can take this situation,” he continued.
“Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do? Should I continue to suffer for the sake of the children, or should I finally set firm boundaries, even if it means divorce?”
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