She’s Upset That Her Family Is Hiding Her Grandpa’s Affair From Her Grandma
This 19-year-old woman from New York City found out her grandfather was having an affair back in 2020, but to this day, her grandmother still doesn’t know. Now, she finally wants to expose his infidelity because she’s sick of living a lie, but her mother thinks the truth would “ruin everything.”
For some context, she currently lives in the United States with her mother, father, and maternal grandmother. Meanwhile, her grandfather, aunts, cousins, and other extended family live in Peru. Her grandmother, who’s on her mother’s side, has always been like another mother figure who cared for her from a young age.
In fact, her grandmother moved to the United States when she was in sixth grade, overstaying her visa just to take care of her.
“[My grandmother] taught me how to cook, and it’s because of her that I wanted to start working at 13. I’ve been working ever since, even now while I’m in college,” she detailed.
“My grandmother is 75 years old and still works as a cook at Wendy’s, cleans the house, and honestly, without her, our home would be a pigsty.”
Yet, back in 2020, her family discovered that her grandfather had betrayed her grandmother. Her cousin was using her grandfather’s printer when Facebook chat messages with his mistress were uncovered.
This obviously opened a can of worms, but in the end, her entire family decided it was best to keep her grandmother in the dark. At the same time, her family forced her grandfather to quietly end the relationship with his mistress and block her.
“My mother and her four siblings in Peru confronted the mistress, shamed her, cursed her out, and completely shut her down. After this, they trusted the relationship was over,” she explained.
Nonetheless, she didn’t agree with hiding the truth from her grandmother, and she distanced herself from her grandfather as a result. So, five years later, there’s still drama surrounding his affair because her mother thinks she shouldn’t let what he did change their relationship.
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She realizes that, yes, she’ll always love her grandfather. Even so, she no longer respects him and has trouble acting as if he didn’t cheat.
“I can’t believe that an 80-year-old man would allow his own children to control his relationship. Personally, I don’t think he ever stopped his antics,” she admitted.
“I also can’t believe how easily my aunts and uncles, who FaceTime my grandmother daily, can just talk to her as if nothing ever happened.”
Tensions have risen over the past five years, too, since her mother claims she’s the reason why her grandfather doesn’t want to visit the United States. He’s told her grandmother excuses, such as it’s “too cold” or “too hot,” but her mother suspects he feels disrespected and is avoiding her.
She firmly disagrees with this, as she is cordial with her grandfather on the phone. She simply doesn’t call him to chat one-on-one or delve into deeper conversations unless it’s a holiday or a birthday. This was a boundary she put in place to “protect her peace” while living with the lie.
Regardless, her mother brought the issue up again in their most recent argument. So, she responded in English, which her grandmother could not understand, by saying, “If you want to tell grandma that I’m the reason grandpa doesn’t visit, then tell her the real reason he doesn’t come.”
Her mother was livid and stated that if she ever said anything to her grandmother, she’d “ruin everything.” Moreover, since her grandmother has a heart valve condition, she was told that the shock would kill her.
She doesn’t believe that would happen, though, and she feels like she’s going insane in her own home. Her aunts and uncles apparently agree with her mother, but she suspects her grandmother might know, given how she isn’t “stupid.”
“My grandmother is beautiful, truly. She deserves to be happy. How can someone be apart from the supposed love of their life for so long, waiting for them, while they refuse to visit? Does my grandfather really think a simple FaceTime call is enough?” she asked.
The worst part? Her mother has only doubled down and blamed her other, 86-year-old grandmother for causing drama by “spreading rumors” about her grandfather being unfaithful and declining to move to the United States. It even got so bad that her mother said she wished that other grandmother “would die for having such a big mouth.”
To be clear, she genuinely doesn’t think that grandmother was involved. According to her, people live close together in Peru, and gossip tends to spread fast.
All of this has been eating her alive, and she really wants to just tell her grandmother about the affair. Her mother has led her grandmother to believe the lies about how she’s disrespectful to her grandfather, and she wants her grandmother to trust her words.
“It makes me feel insane… as if we are living in different realities,” she vented.
Now, she can’t help but wonder if distancing herself from her grandfather was justified and whether it’d be wrong to expose his affair to her grandmother once and for all.
Does she deserve to be the scapegoat and take the blame for her grandfather’s actions? If you were in her grandmother’s shoes, would you want to know the truth?
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