His Girlfriend Has Mental Breakdowns On A Monthly Basis, So He’s Not Sure He Can Marry Her
For a bit under three years so far, this 34-year-old man has been dating his girlfriend, who is a year younger than he is.
They originally met online, and he fell head over heels for her. Three weeks after they began dating, they took a camping road trip, and he knew he was in love.
Merely weeks later, they began verbalizing their love. They have so many shared interests and commonalities, and he loves that his girlfriend is adventurous.
She’s pretty much the woman of his dreams except for one thing: she has mental breakdowns on a monthly basis, no exaggeration.
This is causing him to reconsider marrying his girlfriend and picking her to be the girl he spends the remainder of his life with.
“Once a month, sometimes more, she has a total and complete meltdown,” he explained. “Just totally not functional.”
“I have never seen another adult human cry like this. Like, not even just ugly crying, but a 3-year-old tantrum level crying.”
“The first time it happened, I nearly broke up. But I have too much patience and I let it keep going. I weighed all the positives, and dealing with the one breakdown a month seemed worth it.”
Background info for you: his mom suffered from monthly meltdowns during his younger years. His mom would toss plates across rooms (causing them to smash into pieces), scream, and threaten to walk out.
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His dad would plead with his mom not to leave them, and it was an ugly cycle he watched between his parents. He suspects this is what caused them to eventually get divorced.
His dad got so tired that he began cheating, and then he kicked his mom out of the house. So when his girlfriend has her meltdowns, it dredges up all those terrible old feelings from his childhood: all that fear and anxiety.
“But I bite my tongue, I hold her, comfort her, and try to calm her down. These go on for 3-12 hours at a time,” he added.
“I can’t leave here alone because then she tries hurting herself, and if I try to do anything other than comfort her, it pushes her further into her spiral. She claims she is self-aware during these, but she acts like she’s reverted to a 3-year-old child.”
“She is aware this is a problem, and she gets angry with herself for letting it happen, even though I reassure her that I understand. I’ve tried to do research and help her figure it out, but she gets extremely angry when I put on my “doctor” hat.”
His girlfriend sees a therapist every week, and she goes to a psychiatrist and other various doctors, but nothing has helped her.
In fact, she’s getting worse, not better. Her latest meltdown had him nearly dialing 911, and he’s over it. His mom was diagnosed with severe PMDD and PCOS, and now she’s not so volatile.
His mom suspects that his girlfriend probably has a similar diagnosis, but why have the medical professionals not gotten to the bottom of what she’s experiencing?
“So all I’m thinking about is, will this be my life if I choose to marry her? Can I put up with the monthly breakdowns?” he wondered.
“I’m totally stuck, because I do love her, but I really don’t know what to do at this point, but I also don’t want to hurt her.”
What advice do you have for him?
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