A year ago, this 18-year-old girl’s 38-year-old mom got married to her 45-year-old stepdad. Her biological dad got divorced from her mom some time ago, and she suspects their cultural differences were too much for him to deal with.
Her dad has since returned to his home country, got married to someone else, and went on to have a number of other kids, but she is not permitted to visit them.
She doesn’t consider her dad a bad guy after all of this, as even though she doesn’t have a bond with him, he’s been financially supportive of her.
“But he is not a terrible person, he has always sent my mother money for me and he never forgot my birthday, Easter, Christmas, or the first day of school for the year,” she explained.
While she has no ill will for her dad, she does harbor those feelings for her stepdad. Her stepdad constantly tears her mom apart for how she parents her, and he acts like she’s some out of control teen even though she isn’t.
She enjoys hanging out with her friends, she has great grades at school, and no other parents find her to be problematic.
She did recently get a boyfriend, and when her stepdad learned the news, he treated her like a terrible human being. By the way, her boyfriend is sweet and a wonderful guy.
Anyway, when her mom tied the knot with her stepdad, she was so upset about it. She says the wedding cake was delicious, and that’s the only nice thing she can say about the wedding.
Not too long ago, her mom announced that she’s pregnant, and she did her best to prevent her mom from seeing how disappointed she is.
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Her mom is over the moon about the baby, but she feels heartbroken.
“It’s not fair. And it’s a girl, so she’s basically replacing me with another baby with her perfect stupid husband,” she said.
“But then he got mad at me for not being really happy and making my mother sad, but of course I’m not going to be that happy.”
“And I do feel bad for my mother because it’s not her, it’s him. But I felt that I could probably tolerate it, until all this happened.”
She’s graduating from high school this July, and her stepdad questioned her after the baby announcement about what her future plans are.
She mentioned she wants to keep living with her mom for another two years or so, since she does not feel as if she’s ready to live on her own.
Also, she adores her mom so she wants to stay under her roof for the time being. Well, her stepdad made it clear that she’s being forced out and can’t keep living with them.
“And then he told me that he and my mother had decided that after I finished school I would no longer be welcome to live there, because they don’t feel comfortable with my hostility in the house,” she continued.
“And I get it, legally I’m an adult, and they can make me move out if I want. But it’s the fact that my mother is taking his side, someone she’s known for only four years, over me, when she knew me for my whole life and literally gave birth to me.”
“And I feel awful. I love my mother, and now she’s just trying to get rid of me for her perfect life with her stupid husband and baby. She told me she was sorry, but she just feels weak. I don’t want to hate her, but I’m starting to, and I feel awful.”
What advice do you have for her?
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