7 Ways To Quit Being Rude To Your Partner
Being Rude To Your Partner Can Happen More Often Than We Want To Own Up To
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. I’d be hard-pressed to believe that anyone wakes up in the morning and decides to be rude to the person they love. Even so, it happens a lot more often than we’d like to admit.
Work stress, personal frustrations, or even just bad habits can lead us to take our feelings out on our partners, resulting in snarky remarks, dismissive attitudes, or impatience that pushes them away.
Here Are 7 Ways You Can Stop Being Rude To The Person You Love
The good news is that you can break the cycle. By becoming more mindful of your words and actions, it’s possible to transform the way you communicate and strengthen your bond with your significant other instead of weakening it.
If you’re ready to improve your relationship and show your partner a bit more kindness, here are seven practical ways you can leave your rudeness in the past.
1. Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms For Stress
Life never stops throwing us curveballs, from anxiety-producing deadlines to simply annoying traffic jams. And when stress builds up, it’s easy to release your emotions on the person closest to you.
But when you snap at your partner over something minor, remember that it isn’t really about them. It’s the overall tension you’ve been carrying around all day.
So, instead of letting your stress spill into your relationship, find some healthy outlets to release it. Go on a walk, start journaling, blast your favorite songs on your commute, or even practice some deep breathing. Having a go-to coping mechanism can help you reset before you bring that agitation home.
2. Undo Learned Behavior
How we communicate in relationships is often shaped by what we witness as kids. Were your parents quick to use sarcasm or dismissive comments? If so, you might’ve unintentionally absorbed those habits.
Again, it’s not that you intentionally set out to be rude; it’s merely what feels natural. But just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it’s actually healthy.
Recognize what learned behaviors you’ve brought into your relationship and pay closer attention to your reactions. You can start by asking yourself, “Is this how I really want to speak to my partner?”
3. Work Through Unresolved Trauma
On a similar note, if you’ve been in past romantic relationships where rudeness was commonplace, you might’ve adopted those same behaviors as a defense mechanism without even realizing it. And now, those ingrained responses may feel automatic.
The key to change is recognizing where these patterns come from and working through them via therapy, self-reflection, or even having open conversations with your partner. It’s possible to unlearn unhealthy habits and replace them with better ways of communicating.
4. Check Your Expectations
Sometimes, rudeness can also stem from unspoken expectations that aren’t being met. You might assume that your partner should just know how you like things done, from handling chores around the house to planning date nights or responding in certain situations.
Then, when they don’t meet those silent expectations, you get frustrated, snarky, or impatient. The truth is that no one can read your mind, so instead of letting resentment fester, you need to prioritize open communication about your needs. A little clarity can go a long way.
5. Consider Role Reversal
A little shift in perspective may be helpful in curbing rude tendencies, too. The next time you feel irritation bubbling up, take a second to imagine how you’d feel in your partner’s shoes.
If they spoke to you in the same tone or using the same words, how would you react? Would you feel dismissed or unappreciated?
Mental role reversal, or even verbally swapping roles in a conversation, can be really powerful, letting you see the situation from your partner’s point of view and change your behavior accordingly.
6. Actively Listen
Truly listening is about more than just hearing the words that come out of your partner’s mouth. You have to be fully present and completely process their statements without immediately thinking about how you’re going to respond.
And when it is time for you to reply, take note of your own tone and demeanor. Remember that sometimes, rudeness isn’t only about what we say but how we say it.
7. Take A Pause
Finally, realize that changing your ways won’t be easy (and the process isn’t just going to happen overnight). So, when you inevitably feel frustration flaring up again, practice some self-awareness and use a brief pause.
In some scenarios, this could look like taking a deep breath and counting to 10 before you respond to your partner. In others, you may need to exit the situation and take a bit more time to recollect yourself before trying to tackle the issue at hand again.
Absolutely no one is perfect, and we are all bound to get irritated. The important thing is that you work to process your emotions in a healthy way that doesn’t hinder respect in your relationship.
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