7 Ways To Improve Communication In A Relationship
Communication Is The Key To A Successful Relationship
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. I’m sure you’re tired of hearing that the key to a successful relationship lies in communication since it is a worn-out phrase, but it’s used for a good reason.
The difficulty in communication lies in how to master it. Your relationships will suffer if you don’t know how to communicate effectively.
Here Are 7 Tips For Improving How You Communicate With Your Partner
Unfortunately, most of us are never taught how to communicate effectively – it’s usually acquired through trial and error.
I want to save you the frustration of trying to figure out the best way to communicate with your partner for a healthier relationship, so here are 7 ways to improve your communication with your partner.
1: Be Curious And Ask Questions
You can do this by asking open-ended questions that encourage a conversation. You don’t have to force an hour-long conversation with every question, but you can encourage more talking by changing how you ask your partner questions.
Here is an example: Instead of asking, “Did you have a good day?” try asking, “How was your day?” They could still answer with one word, but you give them a chance to talk more if they want to rather than boxing the conversation in, so there is only the chance to answer with one word.
It’s not about what you ask but how you ask.
2: Validate Your Partner’s Thoughts And Feelings
This one should be one of the more obvious tips. But it’s just not; you need to validate how your partner feels when they share their thoughts and feelings. Failure to validate your partner can quickly shut down a conversation and therefore will harm your chance at improving communication.
How do you validate your partner? Use validating statements. These show your partner that you hear them and understand what they are saying, thinking, and feeling. A couple of examples of validating statements you can use include: “I can see you are very (upset, sad, angry, nervous, etc.),” or “Here is what I’m hearing you say (summarize what you hear). Is that accurate?”
Using validating statements shows your partner you are actively listening and present. Also – you do not have to agree with your partner to validate them. Validating them is just showing them you are paying attention and are empathetic to their situation.
3: Compromise When It Makes Sense
I do not believe everything in a relationship needs to be a compromise, but I do think you and your partner need to be willing to compromise on certain things.
Of course, that will look different for every relationship. What matters is the willingness to compromise. As long as both partners are willing to compromise within reason, communicating will be much easier.
4: Be Mindful Of Triggers
If you know that saying or doing something will shut your partner down, be mindful of minimizing engaging in those behaviors.
For example, if you know your partner will start crying as soon as you raise your voice, you need to keep your tone and voice level in check, so your partner stays engaged in the conversation.
Also, paying attention to how much you trigger your partner shows your partner that you care enough to pay attention to those things. That alone can strengthen communication and the relationship overall.
5: When You Fight, Make The Goal To Resolve The Conflict Rather Than Win
This one is self-explanatory. When you and your partner fight, remember you are a team, and the goal is not to win an argument but to have a healthier relationship. Never lose sight of the goal.
6: Don’t Be Afraid To Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve
To improve communication with your partner, you must be genuine and honest about your thoughts and feelings.
If you don’t tell your whole truth, you are leaving openings for issues to come up later. So wear your heart on your sleeve and share your truth with your partner.
7: Be Specific
When talking about an issue, be specific about that issue at hand. Avoid general terms such as “always” and “never,” as they will make your partner defensive most of the time. Instead, tell your partner precisely what is bothering you so the issue can be resolved.
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