Your Guide To How To Stop Letting Other People Upset You
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. There’s no shortage of things wrong with the world, and coupled with minor everyday inconveniences, it has become way too easy to develop a negative mood or mindset.
From encountering road rage on your way to work or battling a micromanaging boss to dealing with relationship issues or stressing over bills, life is filled with “lows” that punctuate the seemingly fleeting moments of joy and happiness we experience.
But since we already have to deal with our own fluctuating situations, why should we allow other people’s emotions to influence our mental health even further?
I am a firm believer that people either “fill” your cup or “drain” it. And even if your family, friends, or coworkers don’t intend to unload their baggage onto you, whether that’s in the form of complaints or a general negative attitude, it’s still just as damaging.
Consider this: have you ever woken up excited for your day, only to have your mood dampened by your spouse, who’s cranky? Or had to suffer through a lunch conversation with a coworker who had nothing nice to say about the rest of your office?
These interactions have a gradual impact on your psyche, and by the end of the day, you may have inadvertently taken on the worries and pessimism of those in your social circle.
The good news is that by remaining aware and diligent, you can take active steps to protect yourself and prevent other people from upsetting you.
First and foremost, remember that you cannot control other people. Sure, you can lend a listening ear and give advice, but only they are the deciders of their actions.
It also helps to take a step back, breathe, and visualize a sort of “bubble” around yourself. Picture negativity that’s thrown your way just bouncing off of it.
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At the same time, in order to maintain your mood, you should try your hardest not to engage in any complaining or pessimism, either. Of course, you can show whoever’s venting to you some sympathy, but joining in on the negativity will only reinforce their behavior and make their problem, well, yours, too.
Instead, you can try to infuse the interaction by countering with some positivity. Offer words of encouragement, propose a different perspective on the situation, or even just change the topic.
Now, I realize that, with certain people, this won’t be effective. No matter how much we may love them, there are some individuals who tend to be negativity machines or chronic complainers.
If you feel like they are genuinely impacting your mental health, don’t be afraid to speak up about it. Have a transparent conversation and tell them that you don’t have the mental capacity to discuss their grievances or problems for the time being.
You shouldn’t feel bad about protecting your own well-being, and people who truly care about you will understand that.
Everything in life comes with challenges, but when push comes to shove, the only emotions you have the ability to control are your own. This is a responsibility to yourself that must not be taken lightly.
By allowing anyone else to influence your mental health, you are doing yourself a disservice. Determine who “fills” your cup, set boundaries with those who don’t, and remain self-aware to recognize when you need to take a step back from relationships or environments that do more harm than good.
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