How To Tell If A Guy Is Zombieing You
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. It’s no secret that technology has severely complicated how we navigate relationships.
Since we have the ability to call and text potential partners whenever we want, love-bombing and obsessiveness have become a real problem. On the flip side, ghosting has emerged as a super common yet hurtful way to end a modern-day relationship.
One minute, you’re hanging out, chatting daily, and hooking up. The next minute, the person you were seeing seemingly drops off the face of the planet, refusing to answer your communication attempts and leaving you with no answers as to why your relationship ended.
Unfortunately, though, a new dating buzzword suggests the romance scene is somehow even worse off than we thought.
“Zombieing,” the latest dating trend, refers to when a ghost blows you off and then has the nerve to resurface in your life.
It’s even more frustrating than just being ghosted in the first place because, after abandoning you without even saying goodbye, they decide to randomly come back to life (like a zombie) and start talking to you again anywhere from weeks to years down the line.
So, the key differentiator between getting ghosted and zombied is whether or not the person who vanished from your life stayed, well, gone. Coincidental run-ins at the grocery store or a mutual friend’s party don’t count.
They also have to reach out to you first and typically won’t provide an apology or explanation as to why they left you behind in the past.
Like plenty of other dating phenomenons, the reason why people decide to “zombie” boils down to a few potential factors. First, they might be afraid of commitment or wondering if the grass will be greener with someone else.
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Later, if their new endeavors don’t work out, they may become lonely without you in their life, curious about what you’ve been up to, or simply bored and looking to spice things up again. Sometimes, those who ghost might regret their previous bad behavior, too.
The problem is that once you’re zombied, you’ll obviously lose trust in that person. After all, they abandoned you once before, so what’s to say they won’t do it again?
If you’d like to just leave them in your rearview mirror and move on, that’s totally valid. Otherwise, you can have a transparent conversation with them and try to determine if they’re just seeking attention or truly want to rekindle a relationship with you.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries, and if you do forgive them, take your time while easing back into a relationship.
Or, if you have a bad gut feeling or recognize a pattern, it may be better for your mental health to just walk away.
Remember that you ultimately have full control over who you allow back into your life. The people who genuinely care about you won’t leave you hanging or wondering if their intentions are pure.
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