This 32-year-old man and his 31-year-old wife have been married to one another for more than a decade, and they have two kids together.
His wife is pretty much the breadwinner, though they both have full-time careers outside of their home. Throughout the last couple of years, his wife has revealed she really would like to have another baby.
“I agreed initially, but with a few stipulations (we need better-paying jobs, [a] house with [a] yard, etc.),” he explained.
“She states that she is so depressed because she wants another child, and it feels like there is a hole in her soul.”
He’s recently come to see that he actually does not want to have a third child with his wife at all. He’s done having kids, and so he told her that.
His wife admitted he broke her heart by saying he’s finished with babies. He’s really struggling with his mental health lately, which also factors into why he is no longer interested in trying for a baby.
He’s worried that if he says yes just to appease his wife, he will grow to resent the baby, or her, or both of them down the line.
“I feel bad that I can’t give her this one thing that she wants so badly, especially because she has PCOS and she may not have the chance to have another child after a few more years, but I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t be able to mentally cope with another child, and have stated this to her,” he added.
He’s left feeling like a divorce is the only option for them since they’re on separate pages about another baby in their family.
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If he and his wife do split up, it gives her the opportunity to find a man who can give her a child, and that’s what she desperately wants.
He feels absolutely awful about no longer wanting to add to their family, but he can’t figure out a solution that does not involve a divorce in their future.
What advice do you have for him? Do you see a way for his marriage to survive?
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