All The Things You Should Never Let Men Get Away With, Since It Can Be Easy To Overlook Red Flags When It Comes To Romance
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. When you’re young and longing for companionship, it’s scarily easy to overlook red flags. Your sheer desire for a relationship can cause you to throw on rose-colored glasses that blind you to all the problems with your partner.
But, as the saying goes, “hindsight is 20/20,” and once some people manage to escape their first toxic relationship, the signs may become obvious. Meanwhile, others might get stuck in a pattern, repeatedly dating guys who exhibit the same behavior.
Whether you keep finding yourself in similar situations or just want to avoid the heartache from the start, here’s a reminder of all the things you should never let men get away with.
1. Having Zero Ambition
As a teen or twenty-something, the idea of rebelling against the “status quo” and living unconventionally can feel invigorating and adventurous. But don’t fall victim to a man who’s “all talk, no action.”
If you’re looking to build a life with a guy, and he’s on the same page, it’s going to require work. Sure, while many agree that there are plenty of problems with the world today, such as corporate culture being harmful and rising taxes being the enemy, complying with basic adult responsibilities like having a job and paying rent is pretty much non-negotiable.
Don’t let a guy who refuses to work, contribute to expenses, or generally has no personal or career goals hold you hostage.
2. Being A Bad Communicator
Nowadays, technology has allowed us to be more connected than ever. In the wake of so many devices and ways to stay in touch, there’s no excuse to be a poor communicator anymore.
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Never let a man get away with ghosting you. After all, his phone is probably in his back pocket at all times, and if he wanted to text or call you, he would.
Likewise, emotional immaturity is no longer excusable. If a man isn’t able to express his feelings and have honest conversations, he is not ready to be in a committed relationship and needs to work on his personal growth first.
3. Never Apologizing
Absolutely no one is “right” 100% of the time. So, trying to build a future with a man who refuses to apologize is a recipe for disaster.
Not only will you find yourself repeatedly frustrated over the same things, but your partner may even try to fault you for the issues. Accountability is hot; the blame game is not.
4. Jealousy & Clinginess
Trust is a cornerstone of all relationships. So, unless you’ve given a guy a reason to distrust you, random jealousy or clinginess is a bright red flag.
Perhaps he’s been hurt by a past partner or has childhood trauma. While both are unfair, that shouldn’t be your burden to bear.
You deserve to feel trusted by a partner who’s secure in your relationship and gives you enough space. If they make you feel smothered, resentment will only grow over time.
5. Lack Of Prioritization
I know that online dating isn’t everything it’s cracked up to be, but the fact of the matter is there are more “fish in the sea” than ever. So why should you sit around and wait for a man who makes you feel like an option instead of his top priority?
When you’re in the “talking” stage or even still dating other people, this can be fine for a period. But don’t let it drag out for too long unless you’re seeking a situationship.
If you are interested in a committed relationship, you need to recognize your worth. Do not accept late-night phone calls or last-minute hangouts as shows of interest. Realize that if a man views you as his first choice, you’ll be treated like one.
6. Ambiguous Romance Desires
Finally, have you ever had the “what are we” talk with a guy who admitted he “wasn’t sure what he was looking for?”
If you’re on the same page and truly want a casual relationship, that’s great. Otherwise, don’t waste your time.
You may fall head over heels for a man and believe that your love can “change him.” Sadly, so many women have been there, tried that, and it didn’t pan out even close to how they’d planned.
Emotional maturity isn’t something that you can teach or coax someone into. Everyone has to deal with their inner issues and determine when they’re ready to be a partner on their own terms.
Trying to convince a man that he wants a relationship with you is also disrespectful to yourself. You deserve more, and the right guy for you will know that.
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