She’s Daydreaming About Leaving Her Husband And Starting Over Alone, Even Though She’s Happily Married
This woman is truly happily married, but that’s not stopping her from constantly daydreaming about leaving her husband and starting all over alone with her dog.
She got married five years ago, and she’s been with her husband for the last thirteen years in total. Their relationship is solid; they are child-free by choice, and they hardly ever argue.
They communicate efficiently, and she still finds her husband attractive, so this is why she’s having a hard time wrapping her head around her feelings.
She’s even been in therapy for the last three years, yet she’s no closer to getting to the bottom of her desire for divorce.
Over the last several months, her feelings have intensified, and all she wants to do is leave her husband and life as she’s known it far behind her. She wants to pick up her dog, high-tail it out of her town, and restart in a new place.
She has struggled with some of her husband’s hurtful habits over the years, and she used to be concerned that she would wake up and know she could no longer be married to him.
But that’s not it here – he’s put in the work to behave in a way that she finds more agreeable, though she’s concerned that perhaps it’s simply “too little too late.”
And it’s not that she’s seeking greener grass; she is aware that she could get divorced, lose her happy marriage, and not feel better than she does now.
“I’ve been thinking carefully about whether I’m romanticizing this other life, and I’m not,” she explained. “I know this new path would be difficult. That’s almost part of what interests me. I’m not afraid to do hard things.”
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“I feel a bit like I want my life to be mine. I miss my single life living alone in my [apartment] just me and my dog. I miss not having to consider anyone else’s schedule or interests. I miss not having to take care of anyone.”
She is fully aware that divorcing her husband would utterly devastate him, but she doesn’t think she’s one of those women who can be fulfilled by being married anymore.
“I have been putting all my energy into my marriage. That’s the problem: my whole life is my marriage, taking care of my husband, and thinking about him; I can’t do anything without considering him,” she added.
“A marriage. I know. If he did well dating after I left him, that would be great for him. I don’t consider that to be a reason for me not to explore my feelings, though. I only have one life, I want it to be happy, these feelings aren’t making me happy I need to find out why and fix it.”
She’s left wondering if this sounds like a completely normal phase to you and if she should pursue a divorce despite being lucky to have a wonderful husband.
What advice do you have for her, and do you think it sounds like the best idea for her to get divorced?
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