She Let Her Husband Sleep With Another Woman, So Now She Feels Bad For Wanting A Divorce
When this 32-year-old woman’s mom passed away, she slipped into a deep depression and had to spend two months in a psychiatric hospital.
She was put on antidepressants, and she ended up losing her desire to do anything in the bedroom. She didn’t think that was fair for her 34-year-old husband to have to deal with, so she came up with a solution.
“I understood that he still had needs, and I didn’t want to suppress him with my condition, so I suggested he find a woman he could [sleep] with,” she explained.
She and her husband crafted some rules around opening their marriage. They agreed that her husband’s new lover would not be someone he would take out on dates, and he had to meet up outside of their house with her.
Her husband did find a new woman, who is 22-years-old, a single mom, and in college. Her husband has spent the last six months with this new girl, and it’s dawned on her that she made a colossal mistake in allowing her husband to sleep with someone else.
She truly believed this is something she could live with, but it’s just not.
“He has shown me her pictures—she looks nothing like me. She’s an entirely different type, younger, and the complete opposite of me in every way. This has made me feel like I no longer attract him, as if he’s found someone better,” she added.
“Even if I talk to my husband and ask him to stop seeing her, I know I could never take him back. The knowledge that he chose a [romantic] partner who is my complete opposite and, in my mind, better in every way eats away at me daily. You can call it a self-esteem issue, but at this point, it doesn’t matter.”
“I want a divorce. I know I drove our marriage into this corner myself, thinking he would choose someone similar to me. But I was wrong. I no longer want to stay in this marriage because I can’t accept him back.”
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She doesn’t think her husband is to blame for this, nor does she think he’s worthy of judgement. She knows it falls squarely on her if her marriage comes to an end.
But that being said, she doesn’t want to be in her marriage anymore, and that makes her feel awful. She can admit she made the wrong choice, though that doesn’t make up for her lack of a desire to remain with her husband.
If he had been able to find a woman who was an exact carbon copy of her, she still would not want to be married after opening up their marriage.
“Even so, I don’t intend to tell him about it just yet—I’m not even sure if he feels any attachment to me anymore or if he’s staying out of pity. I’m crying as I type this on my laptop,” she continued.
“…I’m going to divorce my husband. We don’t have kids or pets, and I’m not planning to take a single cent from him. I just want to disappear from his life, and for him to disappear from mine. I don’t want to keep torturing myself or him anymore.”
“The main problem in this situation is that I was the one who suggested an open relationship. I didn’t realize that I was completely unsuited for this type of relationship or that I would suffer because of my own decision. I thought I could handle it, but I was wrong.”
What advice do you have for her?
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