His Wife Wants Him To Help Raise Her Affair Baby, And Her Former Boss Is The Dad
Last year, this 36-year-old man’s 34-year-old wife carried out an affair, but it was short-lived. He’s known his wife for two decades, they’ve been together for 13 years, and they got hitched 7 years ago. His wife is the only woman he has ever been with.
Last September, his wife began cheating emotionally with her boss, but things got physical between them towards the end of that October.
“The physical stuff went on for about a month +, and the end resulted in her losing her job. I knew about the feelings for each other but didn’t know about the physical stuff till she was on her 2nd to last week at her job,” he explained.
“The man she cheated with is married with 2 kids already. While I was aware of what was going on, his wife was not.”
Two days ago, his wife found out that she’s pregnant, and her boss’s wife is insisting on a paternity test ASAP. He’s happy to throw his results in for good measure, but everyone is positive he is not the dad, and this baby is his wife’s affair child.
He’s heartbroken and more stressed out than he’s ever been in his whole life. His wife has been lying and insisting she never meant to sleep with her boss.
He and his wife have resolved to be child-free, but now that she’s pregnant, she wants to be a mom, and he’s wondering if he should stay with her and help raise this baby or file for divorce.
If he does divorce his wife, she will be penniless. She doesn’t have money or a job. They have one car that they share, and they don’t have any assets except for his 401k and a house that they have a mortgage on.
He will most likely get their three cats if he walks away, and that’s it. He will feel like he has tossed his life away if he leaves since he can’t envision starting all over again without her. He has some family members who will help but no friends.
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As for his wife, she has no family members and will absolutely be a broke, single mom, so he’s worried about making more problems for her.
“She very much wants me to stay with me. She wants me to help raise this child with her,” he said. “They both [his wife and her former boss] agree that they want to keep each other in the kid’s life as well.”
“The father doesn’t want to leave his current family. He’s made it clear he’d prefer I stay and help her. The father is very much willing to help support as much as he can. Offering to pay for medical stuff, childcare, etc.”
“He is much more well off financially than we are. My wife also doesn’t just want [to] have it and give it to him and his wife to raise. It’s my wife’s as much as the father’s. We’re still not entirely sure what his wife is going to do, but they are pretty religious, so I don’t think they are going to consider divorce. In fact, his wife is afraid I’ll leave (assuming she fears this will cause him to leave her).”
If he stays with his wife, it’s going to be tough for him, feeling like he’s not this kid’s dad or having this kid serve as a constant symbol of his wife’s affair.
Despite his wife’s former boss wanting to provide financial support, there are a lot of costs associated with a child that he and his wife can’t manage, and his wife asking him to stay is a tall ask.
His wife has gone so far as to claim her baby could bring them closer in their marriage and views the baby as a way to motivate them to improve their lives.
He knows this is just his wife guilting him into staying, but it’s making him question what he should do.
“I know I should be doing what’s best for me, but I don’t know if I can live with myself if that means it had an immense negative effect [on] her and/or the child. I don’t know how to make this decision either way,” he concluded.
What do you think he should do?
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