His Autistic Nephew Is The Reason He No Longer Wants To Be A Dad, Even Though He Knows It Sounds Selfish To Admit
A couple of years ago, this 26-year-old man moved into the house his sister shares with her partner. After his sister got pregnant, she purchased a home, and he moved in, too, as it seemed like a great financial choice for all of them.
His nephew got diagnosed with autism when he turned two-years-old, and nobody in his family truly realized the gravity of it at the time.
As they all came to be more educated on autism, it clicked that his nephew was exhibiting signs all along. It was crushing for them to come to terms with his nephew’s diagnosis.
“We’ve been reading a lot about autism and how it manifests and had hope that he will get better over time, given that he was doing some ABA therapy and my sister was actively trying to teach him stuff,” he explained.
“The kid is now almost 5-years-old and pretty much non-verbal – I mean, he can say some words or ask for very basic things like water, etc., but he’s not able to have a conversation.”
They think his nephew might also have ADHD, but they have to wait to be able to take him to a specialist. His nephew is extremely vocal, even though he can’t talk the same way other kids his age can.
His nephew screams whenever things don’t go the way he wants, and he easily melts down. Everyone in their home has to watch him nonstop so he doesn’t do anything that could hurt him.
His nephew will not listen to reason despite them constantly trying to explain everything in a way he can understand.
On top of that, his nephew has no attention span and can’t really learn. He struggles with his sleep schedule, expecting to play in the middle of the night. His nephew then gets up at 7 a.m. without getting a good night’s sleep and proceeds to race around their home. His nephew is a lot for them all to deal with.
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“I can see my sister struggling a lot and often cries from desperation. It doesn’t help that her partner is a narcissist and doesn’t seem to care about either of them,” he added.
“They often argue, and he refuses to look after the kid. My heart breaks every time that happens. I try to help with what I can, but there’s only so much I can do.”
“All of this is having a big impact on me. I have a good relationship with my sister, but seeing her trying so hard with so little in return developed a deep fear in me.”
He did want to be a dad, but his nephew has changed all of that. He’s terrified that if he does try to have kids, they could turn out like his nephew or have something even more terrible happen to them.
He realizes there’s no way to predict the future and find out if your child will have a diagnosis that requires you to be their caregiver for the remainder of your life.
He admits that it might sound selfish to say that his nephew has destroyed his desire to have kids, but living with a special needs child is too much for him.
What do you think?
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