He’s A Trauma Specialist Outlining 5 Parenting Phrases That Are Abusive
Do you know that old saying: sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Yeah, I don’t know who that actually works for because words are powerful, and words can hurt.
Sometimes words can be so cutting and painful that they take up space in your head rent-free for years on end, and I’m sure you can stop and think about something that has been said to you that you still carry around like that.
Parents have to be especially careful of what they say to their children, as their words can have lasting and negative repercussions.
Dr. Konstantine Bisbikos is a doctor who specializes in trauma release, and he’s outing five parenting phrases you probably have heard before that he considers to be abusive and not helpful to children.
Dr. Konstantine says that all five of these phrases are unquestionably normal, but that doesn’t mean they’re right.
He believes that these words can leave significant emotional damage in their wake, so let’s get into them.
1. “I Gave You Everything; You’re So Ungrateful“
If you’re guilty of saying this, Dr. Konstantine translates this phrase to mean that your child’s needs and feelings are not valid since you’re underscoring that you’re the one who provides them with material objects.
Dr. Konstantine mentions the negative impact here is that if you say these words, you are teaching your child to feel ashamed of being needy in any way, and that needs are not acceptable.
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2. “Stop Crying, Or I’ll Give You Something To Cry About“
What’s concerning about this phase is that it teaches your child that feeling upset and emotional about something is worthy of discipline.
The problem is that you end up causing your child to suppress any emotions or anxiety that they have as they grow up.
3. “Why Can’t You Be More Like Your Sister/Brother?“
You’re informing your child that they are not nearly enough the way that they are, and that will set them up for feeling inadequate and like it’s a competition between them and their siblings.
4. “You’re Too Sensitive”
This phrase comes down to mean that any emotional reaction is not acceptable, which in turn makes a child doubt themselves while invalidating their feelings.
5. “I’m The parent; You’re The Child“
Dr. Konstantine says this phrase tells a child that their side of the story is not of any importance, and this can result in problems with a child learning how to stick up for themselves or breeds issues with authority.
“These aren’t just “tough love” – they’re forms of emotional abuse that create lasting emotional footprints,” Dr. Konstantine concludes.
You can watch Dr. Konstantine’s original video on Instagram here.
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