Her Husband Thinks Their Marriage Was Best When She Was A Stay-At-Home Mom Since She Didn’t Have A Big Ego
This 27-year-old woman and her husband, who is the same age as her, have been together for the last eight years.
However, they’re no longer currently living together. Although their separation is physical, she wasn’t under the impression it would be emotional, too, as she thought that they were still going to work on their marriage and not split up.
Now, before she and her husband had kids or got married, they never discussed what their new dynamics as parents would entail.
They didn’t have conversations about whether someone should be the stay-at-home parent or if someone would be doing more work with the kids than the other.
But all of a sudden, this is a major point of contention in their marriage: caring for their kids.
“We were having a conversation a few days ago, and he asked if he gave me the option to quit my job and stay home if I would,” she explained.
“I said no. I just got back to work 3.5 months ago after being a stay-at-home mom to 2 kids under 2, and I am FINALLY feeling like myself again. I love my kids more than anything on this planet and, of course, would love to stay home and raise them if I was given the freedom to still go out and have a life.”
“Based on the 10 months I was a SAHM, I was not given any time for myself because my husband was selfish and guilt-tripped me into always making the plan around the kids, making sure he didn’t have to take care of them alone.”
After spending nearly a year home alone doing all the heavy lifting on child care, she thinks her husband got so used to doing nothing, and that’s why he’s no longer happy with her going back to work.
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Three months after she resumed her career, she got an enormous raise and a promotion too. She’s always been the kind of person to work her heart out, so she’s proud of what she’s been able to accomplish in such a short amount of time.
But instead of being excited for her, her husband is demanding that she quit her job. He’s arguing that he’s supposed to be the provider, and she’s supposed to be the child raiser.
Staying home alone with the kids for ten months in a row drove her absolutely crazy, and it’s not something she can sign up for again.
Don’t get her wrong, she adores her children, but she never had a moment alone, nor a break from constantly running around after them.
Also, she’s always made more money than her husband did, except for her stint as a stay-at-home mom. What’s wild is that when she was staying at home, her husband provided her with no financial support.
She still paid her own bills and half of their rent every month with her savings. Then, on top of caring for the kids, her husband refused to pitch in with chores, so she had to do them all herself.
“I currently live alone, have my kids part-time, and he has them the other half. I pay rent, child care, car expenses, all of that, ON MY OWN. Neither of us pay child support, it’s what we agreed upon,” she added.
“He said our relationship was at its best when I wasn’t working because my ego wasn’t so big. I said I was not the happiest myself because I was going insane. He said, “You’re a great mom, but you don’t want to be,” meaning I don’t want to be a mom, so that’s why I went back to work.”
“He HEAVILY relies on his mom to help when he has the kids alone; he lives in his parent’s basement. I guarantee his mom does his dishes because he doesn’t want to.”
Since her husband finds it so unattractive that she’s picking her career over staying at home with her kids, she’s left wondering what your thoughts are on her situation.
“Men/Husbands: My question to you…If your wife wanted to keep her career instead of being a stay-at-home wife/mom, how does that make you think of her?” she wondered.
“Women/Wives: My question to you…Has your husband ever looked down on you if you had a career and kept it even after kids or given the opportunity to stay home?”
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