Her Husband Doesn’t Live With Her And Has His Own Apartment, Which She Loves
We’ve all heard of some couples having separate bedrooms, an idea that’s been said to improve sleep quality, provide some personal space, and potentially reduce relationship tension. But what about living completely separately from your spouse?
One 54-year-old woman named Heather and her 47-year-old husband have done just that. On her TikTok account @prettysickheather, she revealed how they “broke the rules” for their second marriage and followed a LAT arrangement, or “Living Apart Together.” More specifically, her husband has his own apartment, and she claims their separate spaces are “amazing.”
Heather also detailed exactly how their separate living situation works. For some context, when she and her husband first met, he already had children who were in high school. She was 50 years old; meanwhile, he was 44 years old, and they’d both been married once before.
“And the first thing I told him when we talked on the phone was I was never going to share a bedroom with somebody again,” Heather recalled.
She and her husband went on to date for a few months before they decided to tie the knot. Leading up to their wedding, they continued living separately, too, since they each had their own homes already.
Then, following their nuptials, Heather’s husband sold his home, moved in with her, and they lived together for about a year and a half.
“And I didn’t love it because I didn’t have any alone time anymore. I didn’t have my space anymore,” she admitted.
At the same time, Heather began to encounter some health problems, and they realized they didn’t have enough space for visitors, like when her husband’s kids would come home from college.
So, once an opportunity arose for Heather and her husband to live separately again, they took it. According to her, it “just made sense,” especially since they both worked from home and were always “on top of each other.”
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“It didn’t change our relationship. In fact, it made it better. He has his own apartment. It’s a mile down the street. It’s a beautiful high-rise, and we also have my house, and we spend time together almost every day. We just don’t sleep together,” Heather explained.
The arrangement has worked out wonderfully for both of them. They’ve each been able to maintain their own personal spaces and workspaces, and she and her husband both enjoy their morning routines and evening routines.
Plus, when her husband’s kids come home to visit, they have a private space to spend alone time with their father. This is something his children are used to since Heather’s husband was divorced from their mother for 15 years.
“And if anything, it’s spiced things up because we have separate spaces,” she noted.
For instance, one Sunday morning, when her own high school and college-aged kids were still asleep, Heather went over to her husband’s apartment to have coffee and hang out. On a different evening, she spent the night watching football with her husband, and when she got tired, she got to go home to her own space, which she loved.
“It’s really a unique situation. We do plan to live together again one day once we’re empty nesters. I’ve got one [child] in college and one in high school still,” she said.
“So when we’re total empty nesters, and they’re not coming home for the holidays… we’ll live together again. But until then, it’s like the best of both worlds.”
Heather’s TikTok about her unconventional spousal living situation garnered a ton of support and intrigue online, as hundreds of users shared their own thoughts in her comment section.
“I love my husband, but I would love this arrangement,” wrote one commenter.
“My dream is to have a duplex with a partner. Close, but separate,” stated another.
Now, some viewers did voice criticism over Heather and her husband living apart. In response, she posted a follow-up TikTok to clarify some things.
First, she reiterated how she and her husband are both in their second marriage, and she doesn’t know whether a LAT arrangement would work for a first marriage, particularly if there were young children involved.
“And to the guys who all talked about cheating: if we wanted to cheat on each other, we wouldn’t be together. We wouldn’t be married. We would just date,” she added.
“We didn’t want to be on the market anymore at our age. You know, this is a mid-life, second marriage. We wanted that commitment, but we didn’t want to compromise our individual, current living situations and lifestyles with our own children.”
Finally, Heather claimed that all the best parts of their relationship have remained intact. All that’s missing are the negatives, like bickering or micromanaging, which can arise within shared living spaces.
“I don’t care; it’s not my place. I don’t care that he doesn’t make the bed. It doesn’t bother me. I don’t clean up at his place. I don’t do anything there except get to be a guest. And when he’s at my place, it’s the same thing,” she said.
Have you ever considered living separately from your significant other? Do you think it would work for your relationship or not?
More About:Human Interest
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