Her Boyfriend Said He Connected Better With His Ex, So She’s Stuck Comparing Herself To This Girl
Comparing your partner to any of your exes just has no place in a relationship. Nothing good ever comes out of that, does it?
Not that long ago, this 30-year-old woman and her 30-year-old boyfriend were talking when he brought up his ex-girlfriend and the reason he struggled to get over this girl and move on.
Now, she’s fully aware that when she began dating her boyfriend, he absolutely was not over his ex. But he still kept on wanting to date her, and he has promised in the past she’s not just a rebound to him.
As for why he split up with his ex, this girl is only 23, and her boyfriend wasn’t on the same page as her with future plans. Her boyfriend is looking to settle down and start his family soon, and his ex is still in college.
She thinks her boyfriend sees in her all the things his ex was not, and that eventually made him fall in love with her.
So, as they were discussing his ex, he stated that the connection he had with her was incredibly “deep,” and they had a bond that was unlike what she currently shares with him.
“He said, “What I have with you is more of a relationship, but what I had with her felt more like a friendship,” she explained.
“Naturally, I asked him what he meant by that, and he kind of struggled to explain it. Eventually, he said something along the lines of, “She just got me. Like, she really understood who I was.”
“Hearing that threw me for a loop. It’s been sitting with me ever since, because I can’t stop thinking, why doesn’t he feel that way with me? I’ve never tried to stifle who he is.”
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She would characterize them as friends as well as lovers, so she’s not positive why her boyfriend doesn’t share those sentiments.
She can’t think of anything she has done to hold her boyfriend back or make him feel like he isn’t free to be himself with her present.
However, that conversation regarding his ex has left her with more questions than answers, and she’s doubting her relationship.
“I asked him more about it, like, “I thought we were friends?” And he said, “We are, but I think there are just some people you naturally connect more with,” she said.
“That’s where I’m stuck. It’s making me question the longevity of our relationship. Friendship has always been a foundation in my past relationships. In fact, my two most serious relationships started as friendships before becoming romantic. This relationship is different in that we started dating right away and got to know each other through that lens.”
“I keep wondering what’s missing. What made their connection so special that he felt truly understood by her, and what are we lacking? I know I shouldn’t compare myself to his ex, but I’m struggling not to.”
She’s disturbed by her boyfriend’s honesty, and she’s not sure if she’s reading too far into things or not. What do you think? Would you be upset if your significant other made it seem that their ex was the one for them and you’re not?
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