He Dumped His Girlfriend For Spoiling Her Kids And Acting Too Clingy With Him, But She Thinks He Ended Things Over Her Being A Single Mom
It was nine months that this 41-year-old man spent in a relationship with his girlfriend Sarah, who is the same age as him.
But as 2024 came to a close, he knew he had to dump Sarah. Sarah is a single mom, and she has a 16-year-old daughter, a 15-year-old son, an 8-year-old son and a 5-year-old son.
He’s also a dad, so he knows that dating a single parent requires finding more than a love interest – it means you need someone willing to sign up to help parent your kids.
“She has a job, and I have a good job, and I’m generally financially stable,” he explained. “I’m mentioning this to establish that she’s not starving or anything.”
“We went on dates and occasionally brought her kids along. I don’t know if this is a defense mechanism, but I noticed that she interrupts a lot if she disagrees with the conversation, and I had to ask her to stop raising her voice at me.”
So, he shares a 13-year-old daughter, a 12-year-old son, and a 6-year-old daughter with his ex-wife. His ex-wife has since remarried following their divorce, and he gets along wonderfully with her and her new husband.
He and his ex-wife have raised all of their kids so that they never ask for anything when out in public, especially if someone else has offered to pay their way.
As for Sarah, she never taught her children this, and he thinks her kids are greedy. When he took them all out to the movies, Sarah’s kids added in a ton of snacks for him to foot the bill on.
Sarah didn’t say she would help pay for all the extra snacks her kids wanted, which bothered him. He also lent Sarah’s kids sweatshirts from his kids to wear when they got cold in the movie theatre, but they didn’t want to give them back afterward.
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Also, Sarah demanded that he give her the jacket he was wearing since she was freezing, but he didn’t want to and make himself cold, so she snapped at him that he wasn’t a “real gentleman.”
These are just some of the things that irritated him as he kept on dating Sarah, but the worst was that she just added their kids to dates without asking him first.
At first, he allowed Sarah to bring her kids to date nights at home, and he would cook and bake for everyone, as it was cheaper and less of a dilemma to organize.
“Fast forward, and she started bringing her kids along without a warning. This forced a change of plans. She does have a trusted babysitter, but she insisted that we needed to make memories. I started getting [angry] because she didn’t show the same interest in my children, and I brought it up,” he added.
“Last November, I got out of my car to use her bathroom, and when I walked back, 2 of her kids were already sitting inside. It’s not the kids’ fault or that I didn’t want to be around them, but our dates became uncomfortably unpredictable because she would say something and do another.”
“I would leave my house under the assumption of a quiet date, and she would make the decision to include her kids on her own.”
Then, for Christmas, he bought presents for Sarah’s kids, and her daughter dug through a gift bag he had gifted her. Sarah’s daughter then made a rude remark when she noticed he had not bought her more gifts.
He could tell Sarah’s daughter is used to receiving more, but the lack of appreciation helped him see that he and Sarah aren’t a good fit due to how spoiled her kids are.
Although he addressed how upset he was with Sarah, she excused how her daughter behaved and chalked it up to her only being a kid, even though she’s 16. That’s certainly old enough to show appreciation.
He also took that opportunity to ask Sarah not to add her kids to their dates at the last moment since it made him anxious, and that was that.
“We went out for tacos at her insistence. Everything was great until I noticed that her kids were ordering the expensive stuff,” he said.
“I immediately asked for a single combination dish for each since single-dish steaks and ribs are huge where we went. Sarah said I was being controlling and told the waitress to get each kid what they wanted.”
“Well, her kids didn’t even get through half their plates after she lectured me and said, “She doesn’t mess” with her kid’s food, nor [does she allow] anyone to do it. I resented that since I was paying, and she made it sound like I was trying to starve them.”
When New Year’s arrived, Sarah was furious with him for spending time with his kids instead of her. He spoke to her at 10 p.m. since she called him, but then she phoned him up again later on, trying to invite herself to the little party he threw at home with his kids.
He told Sarah that New Year’s is special and something he just wanted to spend with his children since that’s their tradition.
From there, Sarah took her children out on the town, then texted him that they were bored, expecting him to invite them all over.
He didn’t, so Sarah accused him of snatching away the ability for them to all have a nice time as a family. Again, he didn’t want Sarah, let alone her kids, crashing New Year’s for him.
When he met up with Sarah the following day, she made him feel bad for wanting to be alone with his kids, and he didn’t appreciate her judging him.
Then, a couple of days ago, came the final straw for him. He informed Sarah that he was heading off to bed on the early side.
Sarah then showed up at his house without saying she would come by first. When he opened the door, he didn’t want to let her in since she was being disrespectful.
“First, she playfully accused me of having someone at my place, then she also (playfully) tried to get past me. I had to ask her to leave, and then she got very serious and said she demanded full transparency or we were done,” he continued.
“She went from playful to a bit angry, then she started getting emotional. I promised I was alone, but if I let her in, I would end things because she didn’t respect my boundaries. She came in, found nothing, and then tried to get affectionate. I said we were done. She cried, and I felt a bit of pain because I still have feelings for her, but I can’t keep acting like everything is OK.”
“I feel guilty knowing that she thinks I’m doing it because she’s a single mom. We have exchanged some messages but I blocked her because she wants me to take all the blame. Maybe I should have been more patient, but her parenting and attachment style did affect our relationship.”
He’s left wondering if it was wrong of him to dump Sarah over her spoiled brat kids and her clinginess.
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