This 44-year-old man shares an 18-year-old daughter, Jess, with his 44-year-old ex-wife, Mary. He and Mary had a difficult marriage.
Six years ago, they chose to go their separate ways and file for divorce after Mary wound up having an emotional affair with one of her coworkers.
He’s convinced there was more to what Mary was doing and that she slept with her coworker, though she did not confess to this.
“Some of the fault for the divorce probably lay with me, but in all honestly, I would call it at least 90% Mary’s fault,” he explained.
“I believe that she suffers from BPD, but she never made any effort to get treated, despite my urging her and promising to pay for therapy.”
“After our divorce, Jess more or less became something of a problem child, which I totally understood. I did everything in my power to create strict boundaries and reasonable rules within our house, but the second that she went back to her mother’s house, Mary would let her do whatever she wanted.”
He gave Mary $800 a month in child support for Jess, and then when Jess got caught at school with drugs one day, he punished her.
He took away her devices until she could clean up her act, and in response, Jess never stepped foot in his home again.
Jess went to stay with Mary permanently following the incident at school, and that’s because Mary let Jess run wild without any consequences for her actions.
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He did pay Mary more money in child support, as he wanted to ensure that Jess was still provided for.
“In December, Jess turned 18. I haven’t spoken to her in a year. Mary texted me frantically a few days ago about child support, and I simply responded that Jess was 18. She then tore into me about “abandoning” my child,” he added.
“Jess made a TikTok about having a “deadbeat dad” the next day, probably with Mary’s encouragement, as she knows I check her social media.”
“There were a lot of fabricated details in the story, but I wonder if I was [a jerk] for just leaving them high and dry there.”
What do you think? Should he keep helping pay for Jess?
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