Time is precious, and it hurts when you go out on a date with someone only to have them literally waste your time.
Two evenings ago, this girl met a man through a dating app, and he seemed to be your average Joe. This guy was a little more reserved, but he stated that he’s introverted, so it made sense to her that he wasn’t exactly chatty.
She tends to be introverted too at times, so she was not put off by his honesty, and she agreed to go out on a first date with him.
They spoke out about their interests, their careers, and current events. Things then turned to family. He strangely mentioned that his mom and dad allow him to date girls, and this is a 29-year-old man here who shouldn’t need permission from his parents.
He added that he’s Catholic, so his parents will not permit him to marry a girl who isn’t. Nothing on his dating profile alluded to religion being important to him; meanwhile, hers clearly indicates that she’s an atheist.
She even clearly told him about her beliefs, which caused her to question if he was somehow going against his parent’s wishes by being on a date with her.
He responded that he will do what his mom and dad expect when it comes time to get married, so she wanted to know why she was even on a date with him when she doesn’t fit the profile of what he’s technically looking for.
He only said he wasn’t really sure why he invited her out to go on a date with him, but then it got worse from there as he revealed more about why he met up with her in real life.
“Apparently, he hasn’t dated much, and he downloaded the apps to “practice talking to girls.” He went on to say, “I’ve been trying to be less introverted, and going on dates is good for me. It’s healthy to get out of the house,” she explained.
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“To which I replied, “Dude, go play some…pickleball then. Join a book club. My profile clearly states I’m looking for long-term. When you asked what brought me to Bumble, I said I want something serious. And yet, you asked me out, knowing that even if this date went well, it would lead to nothing. Getting people’s hopes up and wasting their time so you can go on some personal growth journey is not okay. How would you feel if I just wanted a free dinner?”
He actually got mad at her and accused her of wrecking his confidence. He threw in that he’s going to spend a lot of time before asking another girl out due to how she reacted.
She snapped that it was fine by her, and that he should not dream of putting another girl through this for the sake of practice.
She advised that he should be upfront about not wanting a serious, committed relationship, as it’s not too difficult to disclose that.
“And that was the end of the “date.” I wish more people would be honest, but I think they know they’re not going to get as many matches if they tell the truth,” she continued.
She did at least get a free dinner that evening. While she normally is happy to split the bill, after the stunt he pulled, she figured she could at least use the money she would have spent on her meal to make up for the money she wasted on gas to drive there.
What advice do you have for her?
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