If you cheat on your significant other and then, on top of that, have serious doubts about your relationship, why walk down the aisle at all and marry them?
Four months ago, this 25-year-old woman tied the knot with her 30-year-old husband, whom she was with for about four years prior to getting married.
She and her husband never ended up living together full time, as they work in separate cities. So they basically only lived together on the weekends, and they discussed her husband moving into her home while quitting his job.
“I used to be head over heels for him, but over the past two years, I’ve been steadily falling out of love. I still care for him, but I’ve started to feel like he isn’t the partner I thought he was,” she explained.
“Here are some things that have been bothering me. I have mental health struggles, and he’s not as understanding as I’d hoped. He once told [me] I was “overreacting,” which felt so hurtful. I know I tend to “blow up” at times, but it’s due to my [mental] health problems.”
While they were planning their wedding day, she says her husband let her do what she pleased and didn’t offer up any opinions, which bothered her.
Then, when it comes to their social life, she is her husband’s social life, as he hardly has friends, and those few that he does have hate her.
Her husband shows her consideration, but she fears it’s rudimentary. For instance, her husband leaves his belongings all over her house, and she dislikes that as she prefers order.
They also recently got a puppy, and her husband blamed her for the training process going too slowly, as she was being too easygoing.
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When it comes to the bedroom, she admits she’s never been excited, and she feels remorseful for not saying something about it. It’s become unbearable for her within the last two years.
Those are her main reasons for falling out of love with her husband, but she easily has one hundred minor issues she could tack on.
That’s a pretty long list of complaints to have, so it’s interesting she chose to walk down the aisle and marry her husband regardless.
“On top of all this, our wedding planning period was emotionally draining. He wasn’t proactive, so weekends became all about wedding prep instead of quality time,” she added.
“I felt neglected and started questioning our relationship. During this time, a coworker went through a breakup, and we became close. We talked a lot, and eventually, our relationship turned intimate. We kissed a few times and cuddled but didn’t [fully sleep together].”
“I know this was wrong, but I was struggling with my own relationship doubts. I tried to refocus on my fiancé, but it was hard. Eventually, this coworker got back with his girlfriend, and we stopped talking so much. When it happened, I was heartbroken. I think I fell in love with him. I cry often, especially when my husband isn’t around.”
She actually hangs around longer than she should at the office in order to hopefully run into this coworker while also avoiding spending more time with her husband.
She can see now she is no longer in love with her husband, which makes her feel terrible since they just got married a couple of months ago.
She admits to the errors of her own ways, and she wishes she had told her husband about her concerns before marrying him.
But she’s left feeling confused about what she should do from here on out and if she should remain in her marriage.
“On one hand, I wonder if staying and trying to work things out could help us rebuild what we’ve lost,” she continued.
“On the other hand, I don’t feel in love with him anymore, and part of me thinks leaving now might be the best way to avoid even more unhappiness for both of us. I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective on how to navigate this.”
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