Co-sleeping arrangements usually involve parents and very young children, ending as the child grows up and becomes more independent.
This 45-year-old man has a 54-year-old girlfriend that he’s been with for the last five years, and for Thanksgiving, his girlfriend’s 24-year-old daughter came to see them.
He does not live with his girlfriend currently, but their homes are located one block apart. They’re planning on selling one of their homes and living together in the remaining one.
While his girlfriend’s daughter was visiting, she insisted on sleeping in her mom’s bed, which meant he had to go back to his place.
His girlfriend’s daughter shared his girlfriend’s bedroom with her for four days. Now, he works from home, lives by himself, and has a tough time with the holiday season, which his girlfriend is aware of.
He really just wanted to be able to spend time with his girlfriend, but her daughter ruined that for him. Last Friday night, he and his girlfriend were supposed to do something together as his girlfriend’s daughter made plans with her friends.
He questioned his girlfriend about whether or not he would be allowed to stay in her room or if he would have to go home again that night, and she got offended. She told him to have a good night, so he went home.
“When I called her to discuss it, I said that it is a little “weird” that your adult daughter sleeps in your room with you, and you are forcing me to spend the holidays waking up alone and to an empty house,” he explained.
“She erupted; went off on me, saying how dare I come between her and her daughters (she has another that is 22) and that I am calling her daughter weird.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
He hadn’t said a word or complained about the sleeping arrangement for days, but he thought it would be fine to address since his girlfriend’s daughter was going out with her friends.
Right now, his girlfriend is not speaking to him, and she’s been ignoring him for two days. He’s not sure what he should do, but one thing is certain on his end: his girlfriend doesn’t know how to set boundaries with her daughters and allows them to “walk all over her.”
He thinks his girlfriend acts more like their friend than a parent, and the latest incident at Thanksgiving is hardly the first time his girlfriend’s kids have strained their relationship.
His girlfriend’s youngest struggles with substance abuse, and he actually was the one who was able to get her to agree to treatment.
But that stressed out him and his girlfriend so much that their relationship hasn’t quite recovered. He does love his girlfriend, and everything was amazing up until the recent problems with her daughters.
“I don’t think I was so far out of line for saying this behavior is weird,” he continued. “[I] have been exposed to enough family dynamics to realize it isn’t common behavior in most families and at a loss.”
What do you think he should do?
You can read the original post below.
