His Girlfriend Demanded That He Hand Over His Social Security Number And She Claimed To Need It For A Background Check
Approximately a year ago, this 27-year-old man began dating his 31-year-old girlfriend. Last night, she demanded that he hand over his social security number, and she claimed to need it for a background check.
Then she launched into a story regarding her ex and how he lived a secret life behind her back. He apparently had gotten in trouble with the law, and it put her at risk, but she ultimately dumped him for cheating on her.
He thanked his girlfriend for telling him that story, but he remarked that it really had nothing to do with his social security number.
“She said ever since then, she’s had her friend [who] works for the federal government run background checks on people to make sure they’re safe, and because our relationship is progressing, she needs to know I’m a safe partner for her so she wants my SSN to check my criminal history,” he explained.
“Now, for the record, I don’t even have a parking ticket. I’m a nerd and a gym rat; all I do is work, go to school, play Dungeons and Dragons, come home, watch anime, rinse and repeat, so I don’t care about a background check; she won’t find anything. But I’m not giving out my SSN. I don’t feel comfortable enough providing that to her friend.”
He told his girlfriend he couldn’t let her have access to such a highly personal detail, and she proceeded to get angry with him.
She argued that he was not getting that this came down to her feeling safe as a woman. He knows that as a man, he doesn’t understand safety risks for women in the least, but he still fails to see how his social security number ties into that.
He then said to his girlfriend her friend is a stranger to him, which is just one more reason why he won’t hand over his social security number.
His girlfriend kept on arguing that this friend of hers is her best friend and kept on attempting to get him to give out the information she desperately wanted.
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“And she said that our relationship isn’t going to be able to progress unless I give him my SSN because she needs to know that she’s safe, and she’s offended that I don’t trust her taste in friends,” he added.
“I got up and left at that point and told her I respect her concerns, but her past trauma doesn’t give her the right to try and strong arm me into giving out sensitive information to someone I don’t know just because he works for the federal government and has access to a database.”
“I used to work for the federal government, so I can say from experience everyone working there isn’t some wonderful person. I’m not assuming he’s a monster or anything, but just working for the feds doesn’t prove anything to me.”
His girlfriend accused him of being inconsiderate and hasn’t talked to him after that conversation. He’s wondering if she was doing her best to gaslight him, and he’s also curious if it was wrong of him to decline to fork over his social security number.
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