Her Husband’s Filing For Divorce If She Doesn’t Give Him A Baby By Q3 Of Next Year
For a decade now, this 36-year-old woman and her 45-year-old husband have been married, but things never ended up being solid enough for them to try for kids.
The topic of children is a pretty sensitive one, as her husband wants them, and that just ends up in tons of arguing.
Their relationship overall hasn’t been smooth sailing, but over the last year, it’s been improving to the point where they can bring up kids without spiraling.
She didn’t feel ready to try for children until a couple of months ago. At the end of July, her husband’s mom unexpectedly passed away, and then she had to take a trip out of town that lasted several months, so they quit talking about potentially becoming parents.
But her husband has lately dragged up the discussion of kids again, and he’s back with a vengeance. He’s mad this time and saying untrue things about her.
“[He’s] claiming I strung him along, and I’d said we’d have a kid, and now I haven’t mentioned it, and he’s tired of it,” she explained.
“It’s now back to just as unpleasant a subject as before. He sucks every bit of joy or fun out of it. And, also, he was extremely emotionally devastated when his mother died (and still is), not really a healthy, happy time to conceive.”
“He has made a long list of “nonnegotiable” things, and the top one is delivery [of] a baby “by Q3 of next year.” Even the phrasing of that disgusts me. I’m not his employee fulfilling a quota. And the other part is that if I’m not pregnant within 3 months of trying naturally, we start IVF.”
She’s not a fan of IVF, as she knows this is hard on your body, and she doesn’t want to do that unless it’s the last resort.
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Her husband argued insurance will pay for it, but that was missing the point in her book. She said she would like to rely on what doctors estimate an appropriate timeline is before resorting to IVF, but he thinks they should go straight for this option and not try to conceive naturally first – that’s how desperate he is for a baby.
Her husband is literally threatening to divorce her if she can’t deliver him a baby by his deadline, and he claims he won’t find another girl to marry ASAP if things do end in them splitting up.
She can’t help but feel like he will be on the hunt for a woman to give him a child if she can’t hurry up and do that for him.
“We are in marriage counseling, and the counselor has said we’re a very difficult case, with a lot to work through,” she continued.
“But it had gotten SIGNIFICANTLY better before his mom died. Like, pretty much a normal, healthy relationship. He threatens to quit therapy and not work on our relationship unless I agree because “he has a timeline.”
She has a friend in the same boat. Her friend is her age, and her friend’s husband wants nothing more than to be a dad.
Her friend’s husband is being kind and caring about it, which makes her feel even worse that her husband isn’t acting like this.
What advice do you have for her?
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