He Feels Awful For Giving His Cheating Wife So Many Rules And Taking Away Her Freedom
Some people can bounce back from their partner cheating on them, while others can’t. This man thought that by giving his cheating wife a few rules, it would help repair their marriage, but now he just feels awful for taking away her freedom.
Approximately two years ago, he caught his wife cheating on him with her coworker. He had no idea she was up to anything like that, but then his wife accidentally sent him a message intended for her coworker.
The text mentioned that he was going to be on a camping trip all weekend with their sons. His wife noticed her mistake, but he played along like he never got the text at all.
He then asked his dad to take his kids camping so he could stay behind and spy on his wife. He then caught his wife in their home with her coworker.
He didn’t say anything; he just silently gathered the proof he needed before following her coworker home and discovering he’s married with his own family.
That Monday morning, when his kids were at school, he confronted his wife, fully anticipating she would deny it. Instead, she surprised him by sobbing while confessing to the affair.
His wife said she spent eight months cheating, and then she pleaded with him not to divorce her. He was still in love with his wife, and it ruined him to know she was unfaithful.
His wife promised to do anything he asked in order to prevent him from leaving and to be honest, one thing that majorly influenced him to stay was realizing his wife would move far away to her hometown, which would result in him barely seeing his sons.
He went online and looked into what kind of rules he should impose on his wife, and so he came up with some demands. He informed his wife that she had to stick to his requirements in order to try to regain his trust, or she could opt for a divorce. She picked option one.
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He then requested a confession letter detailing every aspect of her affair, and he made his wife give her affair partner’s wife a copy of it. He also had her apologize to this woman for ruining her family and marriage.
He then made his wife find a new job, required her to keep her location visible to him 24/7, had her hand over all the bank account statements and passwords to her accounts, and installed a tracker in her car.
He required his wife to FaceTime him every half hour she was out with her friends and insisted on her no longer spending time with her best friend, who was pro her affair.
He made it a condition for his wife to not be allowed to hang out with her coworkers. Finally, he said a physical relationship between them was off the table until he felt ready.
Oh, and his wife admitted the fact that he gained some weight was why she predominantly cheated on him. So, he started boxing and dropped 35 pounds.
This brings us to now – two years after the rules went in place. His wife is beginning to push back on the rules, like no longer wanting to check in with him every 30 minutes when she’s off with her friends.
She feels lonely at her job and wants him to agree to let her grab lunch or spend time with her coworkers outside of the office.
She’s also trying to get him to be physical with her, even though he’s not ready. He’s only just begun to get comfortable with kissing her.
“She wants to try for another baby, but I don’t think I’m ready,” he explained. “The other night, she had her hair done and put on a lingerie and heels for me, but for some reason, I couldn’t.”
“She went to the bathroom to cry. I felt like garbage for ruining this beautiful girl, my wife. The sound of her crying still is messing with my head. Her best friend is getting married, and she wants to attend the bachelorette party in a few weeks in Vegas. I’m not sure what to do.”
“I don’t want my wife’s life to be completely miserable. Then again, this is the friend [who] knew about the affair and supported it. My worry is if I keep these restrictions on my wife, she’s going to regret her decision to stay. It’s not like she’s asking me to remove them. She asked me to consider it.”
“As for the bachelorette party, she just told me about it. She never asked to go, but I know what she meant by telling me about it. I just want our marriage to go back to where we were. Enforcing all this is so tiring at the same time.”
While he would like to grant his wife some freedoms and remove some of his restrictions, he’s concerned that he will constantly be worrying that he can’t completely trust her.
Do you think it sounds like their marriage is over?
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