This 30-year-old woman and her 32-year-old husband have been together for nearly a decade, and they have a son who is almost 2-years-old.
But, while they are very happy and have always intended to have a second child, she is worried about how her lifestyle will be impacted.
“I am terrified of life getting so much harder, less money, less free time, fewer holidays, fewer activities for my kids, less eating out, less sleep, less [romance],” she explained.
“Overall, I’m just scared having two will ruin my life. One feels manageable.”
Prior to she and her husband getting engaged, he claimed he wouldn’t propose until he earned enough money to support their future family of four entirely by himself. That way, she’d be able to stay home.
Unfortunately, things didn’t pan out as he’d planned. She currently still has to work, and she’s okay with it at this point.
“But this is already not what I pictured when I thought about our future. I was very poor growing up, and I didn’t want to struggle with my own children,” she said.
Her husband, on the other hand, talks about their future plan to have another child as if it’s a “necessary struggle and sacrifice.” He thinks his life “sucks” since it’s restrictive and negative.
According to her, he also whines about their finances despite the fact they’re doing fine with their two incomes and their savings.
Alex Vog – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person – pictured above is a woman in an orange dress
“I feel like he decides we can never do anything fun or have any luxuries because he has this view that all our young years should be sacrificed for eventual financial freedom,” she detailed.
She realizes that her husband is good at managing money, which she appreciates. Nonetheless, she doesn’t want to have another child unless she can be happy, which is why she wound up giving her husband some conditions.
More specifically, she told him that she’d only have another baby if they’d get to do things they enjoyed, such as go out on date nights, take vacations, receive help with childcare, and afford a couple of luxuries.
“I essentially said I refused to be miserable, so unless you can paint me another picture, I don’t want another kid,” she revealed.
“I’m happy with what we have now. I don’t know why I would risk that for all this sacrifice and suffering he always talks about.”
In hindsight, though, she’s been left wondering whether only agreeing to have another kid if her lifestyle isn’t impacted was reasonable or made her a jerk.
Are her concerns valid? What advice would you give her?
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