This 30-year-old woman and her best friend Sarah, who’s 29, have been close ever since they were in college, and she’s always been there to support Sarah.
However, after dating a 32-year-old guy named Tom for three years, Sarah got engaged a few months ago, and she doesn’t exactly agree with their relationship anymore.
“He’s a decent guy, but I’ve always had reservations about him, mostly because he’s not the nicest person when things don’t go his way,” she detailed.
“I’ve never said anything to Sarah because I didn’t want to overstep.”
Well, that all changed when she found out Tom had cheated on Sarah last year, and her best friend confided in her.
Sarah had learned about the infidelity via Tom’s phone when he accidentally left the device unlocked. Her best friend was understandably devastated, given the fact their relationship was serious, and they’d already discussed the idea of tying the knot at that point.
Tom owned up to the cheating, claimed it was a mistake, and apologized to Sarah. According to her best friend, Tom even cried, swore he’d never do it again, and begged her to stay with him.
Sarah wound up forgiving him, so they got back together and are now set to get married.
When she heard about what happened, she was beyond shocked and shared her concerns with Sarah, saying she didn’t believe she’d ever be able to trust someone after they cheated.
Vasil – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person – pictured above is a bride surrounded by her veil
“I told Sarah that while I respected her decision, I wasn’t sure it was healthy for her to continue in a relationship where the trust had been broken in such a significant way,” she recalled.
At the time, her best friend just became defensive and accused her of not understanding their relationship. According to Sarah, forgiveness is simply “part of love.”
Anyway, once her best friend began planning their wedding, she was asked to be a bridesmaid. And while she was flattered, she couldn’t help but hesitate.
She admitted that she was having a tough time supporting their marriage since Tom had been unfaithful.
“I said I didn’t feel comfortable standing up for her wedding when I thought Tom had fundamentally violated the trust that should be the foundation of a marriage,” she revealed.
Sarah called her judgmental and pointed out how it was her life, and they were choosing to move forward. Then, she got blamed for being selfish and making the big day about herself.
This sparked some back and forth between her and Sarah, and in the end, she put her foot down. More specifically, she declined to be part of the bridal party and possibly even attend the wedding at all.
She doesn’t feel right backing a marriage that was built on betrayal and thinks Sarah is sending a “bad message” to the people who love her.
Her best friend ultimately broke down, saying she was the only person who’d been honest yet was walking away when she was needed the most.
“Sarah said she wasn’t asking me to condone what happened but just to support her decision,” she explained.
This tense conversation has left her totally torn, and some of their mutual friends have taken Sarah’s side. They suggested she was being too harsh and needed to let it go and support Sarah.
“But I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m enabling a relationship I don’t believe in. I love Sarah, but I can’t get behind this,” she vented.
Now, she’s not sure if refusing to go to the nuptials is the wrong thing to do or not.
How would you feel if your best friend was marrying a cheater? Can people change?
You can read the original post below.
Pictured above is a screenshot of the original post for you to read
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.