She Went On A Date With A Guy Who Told Her She Has A Lot Of Gray Hair
First dates are all about making a good first impression and learning more about your potential match. So, how would you feel if you got ready to go out with a guy for the first time, and he immediately made a rude comment about your gray hair?
That’s the unfortunate situation one woman named Melinda recently found herself in, and after she shared her shocking story on her TikTok account @shelovesheranimals, she went viral.
In her video, which has since amassed over 1.6 million views and garnered 147,000 likes, Melinda showed how she went on a date wearing a red skirt, a black leather jacket, black tights, and combat boots, an outfit she thought was “super cute.”
Yet, her date didn’t compliment her outfit or begin their date with any typical cordial conversation starters.
“Do you know what the first thing he said to me was? ‘Wow, you do have a lot of gray hair,’” she revealed.
Melinda, who’s 35, only recently dipped her toe back into the dating pool after she lost her mother, and embracing her natural hair color was an active choice she’d made.
In fact, before their date, she even told the guy about her hair decision, which is why his remark truly shocked her.
“I’m growing out my gray hair, and I have started getting into dating after many years of being single,” Melinda explained.
“My mom recently passed away, and she always wanted to see me happy in a relationship. I think that is part of my motivation for dating now.”
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The results of one study conducted by researchers at the University of Exeter suggest that Melinda isn’t alone in choosing to grow out her natural hair. Rather, many women decide to “risk” showing their gray hair in an effort to feel authentic.
The research included 80 participants from two Facebook groups, who all opted to stop dying their graying hair and shared a sense of sisterhood and solidarity with each other.
However, the study suggested that severe societal expectations still make donning gray hair a “risky” endeavor, particularly because it’s tied to the “old woman” stereotype and can cause a false perception of incompetence.
Some women admitted they’d been shamed by friends and family members for “letting themselves go.” Nonetheless, the line proved hard to toe, as these women also didn’t want to appear as though they were trying too hard to hide their age.
The pandemic accelerated a shift toward natural hair, too, in the wake of closed salons. Women who had the support of their partners, friends, and family reported having an “easier” transition to embracing their natural locks.
“Although many reported negative consequences, such as being ignored or treated as less competent, they also felt happier to be ‘flying my natural flag,’” explained Vanessa Cecil, the study’s lead author.
“We also found that women chose to compensate for going gray by using other beauty practices, so embracing gray isn’t the same as embracing looking old.”
Melinda’s video proved that solidarity among women making the gray hair transition extends to social media, as countless users flooded her comments with support and validation.
“You look very cute. And it was generous of him to share a [red flag] straight out of the gate. Next,” wrote one commenter.
“Why is it so important to society that we hide every possible sign of aging?” asked another.
“Anyone who’s asking, ‘Why doesn’t she color her hair?’ doesn’t deserve your time. And it is super cute. Good luck out there!” shared a third.
Melinda appreciated the outpouring, saying, “It was relieving to know so many other people also found it rude or odd and that I wasn’t being overly sensitive.”
Despite that, in a follow-up TikTok, Melinda shared a selfie with the caption, “I never knew so many men would be mad about gray hair until my video went viral, lol.”
The wildly different response she’s received from men indicates there’s still a big gender gap in accepting natural gray hair, and plenty more work must be done to tear down the stereotypes associated with aging women who don’t dye their locks.
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