A week ago, this 38-year-old woman met a 42-year-old guy on a dating app, and they spent the next few days texting back and forth. They also spoke on the phone once before organizing a first date.
Now, she makes it very clear on her dating profile that she spends every Sunday having dinner with her family. This guy saw that part of her profile and asked if she seriously hangs out with her family that much.
She said it’s true and wanted to know if that was problematic for him before adding that she spends more time than every Sunday with her family, as they’re quite close.
He answered that it is important that his partner “prefers to spend more time with him and in [their] own home than with her family,” she explained.
“And that there are limits to how much time his partner can spend with her family and that it is something that has to be discussed later (because there are more important things that maybe [have] to be done and I can’t visit my family then).”
“It also has to be discussed how often they can visit us if we live together in the future because he doesn’t want company when he is tired.”
Talk about jumping the gun! He brought this all up before they even met up in real life for their date. It’s pretty wild he felt the need to give her parameters around how much time she’s allowed to spend with her family if she ends up in a relationship with him.
Oh, and he also said that it’s too overboard for her to eat dinner with her family every single Sunday, which she found insane.
She adores her family and will not be picking this guy over them. Another nutty question he asked her after the family conversation was if her exes are handsome.
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After taking some time to consider whether or not this guy was a walking red flag, she sent him a text canceling their date.
“He did a 180. He texted that he never meant to put a limit (he did really earlier write there has to be a limit) but that he meant there has to be a discussion about how much time I spend with them (because couples have to be able to discuss anything),” she added.
“I texted that I don’t accept a discussion or opinions about how much I spend my own time with [my] family and that my future partner [has] to assume that I am reasonable. When he couldn’t convince me that we, in the future, need to discuss it, he backed [up]and said, “I now understand how important your family is for you and won’t have any opinions about it.”
“I don’t trust him. If we live together, I think he will complain and say there has to be a limit. Because he is just backing now because I said I’m canceling the date. I don’t think he [has] changed his beliefs. Right? He is doing everything for me to [agree to see him], but I don’t trust him.”
What do you think about all this?
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