Modern Dating Is Confusing
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The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer, Katharina Buczek.
The modern dating landscape is a confusing world filled with swipes, likes, and ambiguous texts. Chivalry often feels like it is long gone, and it’s not uncommon for singles to feel like they are on a constant rollercoaster of emotions.
It Can Be Hard To Know If A Guy Is Down To Commit To You
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Sometimes, you are able to find genuine connections and actually have hope for something more. Other times, you might find yourself in a situation where it feels like there is something more, but the guy you’re dating appears to be looking for a more casual fling.
Here Are 5 Ways To Determine If He’s Not Interested In Getting Serious
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When you find yourself in this grey territory, it’s normal to wonder what’s really going on. And in case you needed a rundown, here are some signs to look out for that indicate he might not really be interested in committing.
He Lives “In The Moment,” But Not In A Good Way
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Spontaneity can be a great thing. Only being in the moment, though, comes at a cost.
Does the guy you’re talking to only ever reach out late at night or when he’s in the mood for some fun? This is the most obvious tell-tale sign that he’s not looking for anything serious.
Those texts that pop up out of the blue when he’s in the neighborhood might seem exciting at first, but over time, it becomes clear that he’s not planning anything long-term with you. He’s just looking to hook up and move on.
He Avoids Any And All Future Talk
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Do you find that whenever you bring up the future, even casually, the guy you’re talking to quickly changes the subject? Sadly, this is usually for one main reason– he doesn’t picture you in his and doesn’t see your “relationship” going anywhere.
Sure, some future talk can occur way too soon and rightfully scare him off, like discussions of moving in together, marriage, or even having kids. But other future topics, such as becoming exclusive, aren’t that outlandish, and you shouldn’t feel silly for bringing them up.
Regardless, if the guy shuts you down, it’s usually a good indicator that he’s just not on the same page as you.
He Won’t Introduce You To His Family Or Friends
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Meeting someone’s friends or family members is a big step, indicating that they care about you, want you to be a part of their life, and are ready to move forward in a relationship.
If the guy you’re talking to consistently avoids mixing you in with his social circle, this is likely a sign that he’s not ready to fully integrate you into his life.
Don’t get me wrong: meeting family or friends won’t happen immediately, and trust will need to be built before you’re let into someone’s inner circle. But if a reasonable amount of “hang out” time has passed and you barely know anyone else in a guy’s life, it’s reasonable to assume he’s not looking to get serious.
It’s All Physical For Him
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There’s no denying that physical attraction is essential in a relationship. But if that’s the only level where your connection lies, that’s a strong signal a guy is not interested in anything more.
And if you don’t mind that, that’s awesome. However, if you are interested in romance and a more intimate emotional connection, you might not want to waste your time.
The longer you stick around and wait for that to magically happen one day, the stronger your heart will break if it never does.
He Makes Sure To Keep Things Casual And Doesn’t Include You In His Plans
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Have you noticed that he actively avoids putting a label on your “relationship?” If the guy you’re talking to isn’t ready to call it like it is, even after weeks or months, this isn’t a great sign.
Again, if you’re open to something casual, this is not a big deal. But for someone looking for a more serious relationship, this is a strong indicator to stop wasting your time.
Plus, if he starts making plans– whether they be weekend getaways or bigger life decisions– without telling you or including you, this is just one more sign that he doesn’t view you as a partner.