Her Mom Left Their Family Vacation And Went Home After She Declined To Edit Their Photos To Make Her Look 40 Years Younger
This 49-year-old woman has had it with her 76-year-old mom, especially after the stunt she pulled on their family vacation.
Their vacation took place at Yellowstone National Park, but her mom wrecked their good time, and she’s exhausted, irritated, and confused about how to have a good relationship with her mom.
Her mom is from Taiwan and grew up in an environment where nothing was more important than your looks. A lot of her aunts have had a lot of work done, and her mom has as well. Her mom got a nose job, a facelift, eyelid surgery, and she’s gotten fillers.
“I don’t judge her for wanting to look good, but her fixation on appearances has consumed her life and caused tension in our family for years,” she explained.
“During our trip, we took lots of family photos. When we reviewed the pictures, my mom immediately demanded that I edit hers—specifically, she wanted me to erase her wrinkles, brighten her skin, slim her face, and basically make her look 40 years younger.”
“I told her she looked fine as she was and refused to do it. She didn’t take it well. She insisted her friends would judge her if the photos weren’t edited and started accusing me of trying to humiliate her by leaving the pictures as is. I tried to explain that I don’t want to enable her obsession with appearances and that she’s beautiful for her age.”
Her mom didn’t want to hear it and proceeded to lock herself in her hotel room for the remainder of the day. Her mom sobbed and said she would not come out or talk to any of their family members.
The following morning, her mom packed up her things and hopped on the next flight back home to Tennessee. She didn’t bother saying goodbye before leaving.
Her mom’s fixation on her beauty continuously causes issues in their family. Her mom is guilty of editing photos of her kids in outlandish ways, and she loves to rudely pick apart how she and her husband look.
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“She’s even altered pictures of herself and lied to her friends about her age, claiming to be in her 40s when she’s very much in her 70s,” she said.
“Her need for validation is endless. She’s constantly asking for compliments on her cooking, her appearance, or anything she does.”
“And when she doesn’t get the response she wants, she spirals into self-pity or lashes out. It’s exhausting. I know she struggles with self-esteem and body image, but it feels like she’s dragging everyone around her down with her.”
Creating boundaries with her mom fails to work, and any time she does try to stand up to her, her mom makes her out to be the villain.
But since her mom ditched their family vacation and is ignoring her, she’s curious if she did push her mom too much.
Do you think she should have agreed to edit her mom’s photos to make her happy, or do you believe she had every right to put her foot down?
“How do I maintain a relationship with someone who’s so obsessed with appearances and external validation?” she wondered.
“Is there any way to help her see the damage she’s causing, or do I just need to accept that this is who she is? I feel stuck and don’t know what to do.”
What advice do you have for her?
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