Twenty-one years: that’s how long this woman has been married to her husband, and they have several children together who are all less than nine-years-old.
Woefully, her husband wound up cheating on her, and his affair carried on over the course of several years.
Her husband’s affair began strictly as an emotional thing, which lasted two or three years until turning physical.
Her husband met his affair partner at work, and she started out as his mentor. She then moved away, but her husband remained in touch with her.
“The affair ended a year ago. He wanted to leave, and it was me that encouraged him to stay, and he did,” she explained.
“I understand feelings can’t be switched off at the drop of a hat; he didn’t deny still having feelings for her… in fact, in marriage counseling, he would still discuss how he felt for her.”
Throughout the last year, she and her husband have put the work in to communicate effectively while rebuilding their marriage.
They’re in an excellent spot, and their parenting styles are so much better because of the growth they’ve shown.
Her husband did admit at the beginning of reconciliation that he was in touch with his affair partner’s sister and that he had become close friends with her. Her husband stated he wasn’t interested in cutting his affair partner’s sister out of his life.
IVASHstudio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people – pictured above a couple hugs in front of a window
“I told him I wasn’t happy about it, but I wasn’t going to dictate who he could and couldn’t be friends with,” she said.
“I don’t want to be policing him on how to be a good partner. I did also think that, in time, he would lose feelings for her himself and redirect his focus on me.”
“It is a whole year post all of this, [a] whole year of marriage counseling, which we recently stopped, and I learned that he sent the sister a birthday message to pass on to the other woman.”
She is aware that her husband told his affair partner’s sister that he gets she might not want to share the message at all. The sister of her husband’s affair partner never replied to his message.
“[He] and the other woman were friends for longer than the affair existed, and I don’t know if the message was sent from that angle or if he still has feelings for her,” she concluded.
Do you think she should be concerned that her husband is sending a birthday message along to his affair partner?
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