This 34-year-old woman is an engineer who started her career eight years ago. She’s also been dating her boyfriend for nearly two years.
But, while he checks all of her boxes in terms of character traits, there’s one main problem: her boyfriend has been unemployed for several years.
“He is always looking for a job, and he tried to open his own business, but it failed,” she explained.
“And I’ve been supporting him and his dreams ever since we met two years ago.”
She noted that he is an extremely thoughtful guy who takes care of her extremely well. He cooks for her, supports her goals, and is always there for her. She also thinks the most important thing is how much they love each other.
Even so, she doesn’t know how much longer she can stand being the breadwinner. Her salary is barely enough to cover both of their expenses if they want to rent a place and move in together.
“I don’t actually mind being the sole provider, but I’m definitely not getting a second job to be more financially stable,” she explained.
She is already too stressed, anxious, and deprived of romance to carry the weight of another position on her shoulders. Not to mention, it doesn’t seem like her boyfriend will be finding his own job anytime soon.
His lack of money is putting a damper on their relationship as well. They haven’t slept together in months because her boyfriend is stressed out. Plus, she enjoys going out and having adventures with her boyfriend.
However, he won’t allow himself to go anywhere as, in his mind, he should be the one paying for their outings.
“So I end up going without him, which really sucks,” she vented.
Now, she feels like she’s at a crossroads. She’s not sure if she should move in with her boyfriend, take their relationship to the “next level,” and figure out their finances as they go. Or if she should break up with him once and for all.
Is her boyfriend’s long-term unemployment a red flag? Would moving in together without two incomes be a mistake?
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