Katharina Buczek
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer.
It’s easy to assume that if you love someone, you have to like them, right? Contrary to popular belief, they are two very different experiences and don’t necessarily have to go hand in hand.
For a moment, consider your familial relationships. Perhaps you grew up in a tumultuous household, and you don’t exactly like certain qualities about your parents. Maybe your mother is judgmental and brash, or your father might be controlling and arrogant.
Even in the wake of these flaws, you likely still feel a pull toward your parents. If they were sick or in harm’s way, you’d care about their well-being and hope for their safety. At the end of the day, you still love them deep down despite not liking their character traits.
This is precisely how love and dislike can coexist in our relationships, as well as why it’s so common for people to not always like who they romantically fall in love with.
Think about it this way: love is a drive fueled by our humane desire to connect with and feel for others. This want is evolutionary at its core, quite literally helping our species survive.
We crave connection, whether we realize it or not. And it’s this longing that causes us to fall in love; it leads us to feel immense bouts of emotion, affection, and happiness for another individual.
Liking someone, on the other hand, is different. This refers to actually appreciating another person’s attributes and temperament. We typically like someone if we can feel emotionally safe with them and “at ease.”
As human beings, we all feel the need to be valued, supported, and heard. Think about the people you genuinely like in your life. Do they listen to you, cheer you on, and respect you? The answer is probably yes.
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