For fifteen years, this 39-year-old man has been married to his 37-year-old wife. They have two children, and his wife has an affair child as well. Five years ago, his wife cheated on him with her married coworker, and he learned about her affair and her pregnancy at the exact same time. Since he and his wife had gone months without being physical due to her rejecting him, he knew there was no way her baby was his: it was then that she confessed. The very next day, he reached out to a lawyer, prepared to divorce his wife. He also moved out of their home and into a nearby hotel so he could figure out his next steps. He completely expected his wife to move in with her affair partner, but this man said there was no way he would leave his wife and kids for her. This guy also asked his wife not to follow through with her pregnancy, but his wife refused and then never talked to him again. "So I couldn’t stay at a hotel forever, and my wife got fired because of the affair, so she was unemployed," he explained. "I couldn’t really afford two homes, not without severely affecting my kids' quality of life. So I went back home and my wife and I agreed to just live as roommates and be civil around the kids." "I figured within a few months we would be in a financial condition to separate properly. But it never happened. First, I stayed to help her through the pregnancy, then with the newborn, and before I knew it, 2 years had passed." [caption id="attachment_332306" align="alignnone" width="596"] Pierre - stock.adobe.com - illustrative purposes only, not the actual person[/caption] Sign up for Chip Chick's newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox. Throughout those two years, his wife showed him material change. She continuously said sorry to him and sought therapy. He chose to forgive her, but he declined to give their relationship a second chance. He never followed through with the divorce, but they were no longer considered a couple in his eyes. They simply operated as co-parents and roommates, and that was that. But then, he fell in love with the girl his wife gave birth to, and he treated her the same as his two biological children. He decided to stay in the home with his wife for an additional three years. This brings us to today, which marks five years since his wife's affair, and he's feeling clueless about his future. He and his wife revived their physical relationship a month ago after she badgered him about it for years, and things have been better than ever. He feels like it's time to try to fix his marriage with his wife or move on since being in limbo isn't a good idea, especially since his wife truly wants reconciliation. "What my wife did was so terrible, and I know I’d be nuts to actually pursue reconciling our relationship," he said. "But I do still love her. I never stopped. And I may be a fool to believe this, but I think she loves me too; at least now she does. For the past five years, she’s been free to do as she wishes, and so was I. Like I said, we’ve been roommates, not people in a monogamous relationship." "She could have dated or slept with as many guys as she wanted, but she hasn’t even tried. She goes to work and home, nowhere else. I can track her phone, so I know. I, on the other hand, did briefly date another woman shortly after her baby was born." That relationship was short-lived for him, but it caused his wife to want to change. That was the inspiration she needed to seek out therapy, and later on, she admitted to him that it ruined her watching him be with another woman. She tried to say seeing him with this woman made her realize how he must have felt about her affair, but he doesn't think those two events are equal by any means. "So am I nuts to consider reconciling?" he wondered. "How many years of changed behavior is enough to prove someone has truly changed?" You can read the original post on Reddit here.
