Bre Avery Zacharski
Countless wedding vows emphasize loving the person you’re marrying unconditionally. But what happens when that person wants to change their gender to yours, and you’re not attracted to that?
This 32-year-old man has spent the last five years married to his 33-year-old wife, and he was surprised when she told him earlier in the year that she’s gender fluid.
While it came as news to him, his wife only changed in subtle ways, which he was completely accepting of, and he adopted they/them pronouns in replace of she/her.
His wife stopped wearing makeup completely. They chose clothes that were baggy and more gender-neutral. They began to talk in a deeper voice. They cut their long hair.
“I truly miss how she looked before, but at the same time, I want her to be happy,” he explained.
“They came out to their parents and rest of the family 2-3 months ago, but as transgender. It was my first time hearing it, as they gleefully told everyone over the phone.”
That really floored him, and he questioned them about how they had said they were gender fluid, not transgender. They responded that it’s all included in the “same umbrella” so he let it go.
Earlier in the week, though, his spouse approached him in tears, admitting they would like to spend the next couple of years transitioning to a man. Gender-affirming surgery and hormone therapy are part of this transition plan.
He used to talk to his spouse about having kids sometime in the near future, but that’s clearly no longer going to happen.
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