Bre Avery Zacharski
For some couples, the honeymoon phase is over before their actual honeymoon begins. Four months ago, this 23-year-old man married his wife, who is the same age as him, and he’s freshly married and miserable.
He’s been with his wife for three years, but the last year has been hard on their relationship. They each struggle with issues that keep popping up, and they can’t manage to resolve them or move past them.
These issues relate to what he and his wife dislike about the other person, and it’s grown into resentment on both of their ends.
“Her issue with me is that I don’t listen, and as an extension of that, she says we keep fighting about the same things/circumstances because I’m not listening to her in the moment or because I “forgot” a tip or point that she told me would’ve helped us in fights,” he explained.
“Additionally, since we got married, I started an intense grad school, and she now says she is unhappy and alone with these issues a lot more, and I’m her biggest stressor because of our relationship issues.”
As for his problem with his wife, it’s her drinking. She enjoys her wine, but as soon as she starts, she begins treating him terribly and he feels like he has to be so cautious around her, as anything could set her off.
They’re painfully aware of what they don’t like about one another, and they have tried to put the work in to get to a better place.
They hold “check-ins” once a week, go out on dates every Friday evening, and attempt to communicate consistently.
“I am just so unhappy and depressed every time an issue comes up, though,” he said. “I always end up saying something wrong (which I’ll admit and apologize for either then or later), but then I feel like the fight becomes all about how I said something mean- even if I wasn’t the only one.”
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