5 Dead Giveaways You’re Friends With A Female Narcissist
Female Narcissists Have Become A Recurring Archetype In Pop Culture
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The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. From teen TV shows depicting high school drama to full-blown movies following a career-driven woman protagonist, the female narcissist is often portrayed as appearance-obsessed, selfie-loving, and promiscuous.
However, Don’t Let Pop Culture Fool You
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These traits on their own are not always indicative of narcissism. And even if some people have these traits and are narcissistic, these behaviors are usually not harmful to others.
In real life, though, research suggests that true narcissistic behavior– including arrogance, attention-seeking, jealousy, envy, and rage– severely impacts loved ones.
Here Are 5 Dead Giveaways That You’re Friends With A Female Narcissist
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So, rather than constantly checking themselves in the mirror or posting curated photos on Instagram, the “true” female narcissists tend to go out of their way to bully and “one up” female friends that they are jealous of and feel threatened by.
And depending on the situation, these behaviors can be easy or very difficult to spot within your social circle. That’s why, below, we have compiled a list of some dead giveaways that suggest you might be dealing with a female narcissist in your life.
1. Love Bombing
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We’ve all heard of love bombing in romantic relationships. But it can occur in friendships, too.
Regardless of whether you are a coworker, acquaintance, or “enemy,” a female narcissist might edge her way into your life by love bombing you– or providing you with praise and excessive attention.
And understandably, the natural reaction on your part would be feeling special, appreciated, or even loved. However, these showings of love are rarely authentic and are simply a game to eventually expose your vulnerabilities.
She Might Use Your Openness About Your Strengths And Weaknesses Against You
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These are her fuel to ensure she can upstage you or put you down in a variety of situations. During one-on-one conversations, the female narcissist might start to joke about, mock, or slyly insult your personality, appearance, triumphs, and challenges. This may also happen in social groups in front of other people.
This behavior ties back to envy. Essentially, the female narcissist was envious of you and viewed you as a (false) threat. So, she needed to gather enough ammo to shame and hypercriticize you to make herself feel better.
2. Mirroring
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Have you ever known someone who adopted the traits of whoever they were around at the time? This is also sometimes true for female narcissists.
While getting to know you, a female narcissist will observe everything– from your appearance and mannerisms to hobbies, interests, and ideas. Then, in the midst of criticizing aspects of your identity, she may start to adopt certain traits for herself.
She Realizes What Parts Of Your Personality Are Beneficial
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from gaining you new friends to helping you climb the corporate ladder at work– she will take them for herself, too, regardless of how inauthentic they are to her own true persona.
Then, the female narcissist will use these traits when presenting herself to the world in an attempt to gain more praise, attention, and appreciation– just like you do.
3. “Pick Me” Rage
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Whenever a female narcissist is not the center of attention, things tend to go downhill fast.
Unknowingly becoming friends with her means that you have entered a cutthroat competition that you didn’t even know you signed up for.
So, if she views you as more beautiful, successful, intelligent, confident, or popular than her, then the female narcissist will go to extreme lengths just to make sure that all of the attention is always on her.
If You Ever Have The Spotlight, She Will Feel Enraged
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This could happen when you are celebrating an accomplishment or even just when another person shows more interest in you. The female narcissist will break into those conversations and do her best to refocus all of the attention on herself.
4. Sabotage
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Female narcissists don’t just tend to go after people who are already in committed relationships. But they also have a tendency to try and sabotage the romantic relationships of their female friends.
This urge might manifest as attempts to seduce your partner or ensure your partner’s focus on her. And whether or not the female narcissist succeeds at drawing your partner away from you, she is getting a thrill from the pursuit.
She Loves Stealing Away Your Attention
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It is the idea that she could potentially “win” over and steal your attention that pleases and excites the female narcissist.
The female narcissist also has no problem hurting her own romantic partner– showing no empathy for any other parties involved.
5. Rumor Mills
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Finally, female narcissists will often create false rumors about you and others to gossip about in conversation. And this act has a two-fold effect.
At the moment of gossip, she can tear you or others down in order to position herself for more praise and attention. And afterward, the false rumors tend to gain a life of their own– pitting people against each other long after she walks away.
She Will Let Her Rumors Do The Dirty Work
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This means that the rumors the female narcissist let loose in the world do her work for her. Her friends or coworkers are busy tearing each other down; meanwhile, she can swoop in and climb the social or corporate ladder while others’ reputations are tarnished.
Essentially, this behavior is an attempt for the female narcissist to position herself for attention, praise, promotions, or some sense of heightened social status. So, by yanking everyone around her down, she feels in control of the narrative and as though a clear path to her goal has been opened.
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