Parenting views come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s unfortunate when some people feel the need to take aim when someone’s opinion is different from theirs.
People really love to mom-shame, and so that is what makes TikToker Lucy, who goes by @abundantlylucy, so brave for opening up about why she doesn’t want to see her kids every single day.
I think it’s refreshing to be honest, even if others don’t agree with your feelings. Lucy has two children with her ex, and they share custody of their kids 50/50.
Lucy said in her video that as soon as people hear that she doesn’t want to spend every day with her kids, they assume she’s basically a garbage person.
Lucy clarified that, of course, if her kids required her full-time care, she would step in to do that, but this is why she prefers her split custody arrangement: she feels parenting is about equality.
“Nothing sits all on me, and I think society still sits everything on the mother of the children, which, personally, feels really unfair,” she stated.
Lucy’s oldest is currently seven, and over the years, Lucy has still worked full-time running her business while being a mom.
Juggling a career, kids, and a pandemic left Lucy feeling like she was hardly the best mom, which is heartbreaking.
Bringing things back into the present, when Lucy’s kids go to school or spend time with her ex, it gives her the ability to not only complete all of her work but also get herself in a better place.
jul14ka – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“Because 6,7 years of grinding, hustling, I supported our entire family financially,” Lucy added. “He, he worked, he did make money, but my income was far more significant, and I covered most of our costs.”
As Lucy carried the weight of everything, she battled health issues, mental health problems, and postnatal depression because she was exhausted from her life.
Amid her separation from her ex, Lucy finally had the opportunity to get to a place of equality when it came to parenting.
“So when I say I don’t want to have my kids full-time, it’s because I feel like I deserve now some time to myself to work but also to heal,” Lucy continued.
Lucy also has Chron’s disease, and her hair was falling out over the amount of stress she encountered.
She’s using her time spent apart from her kids to literally help herself heal. Yes, Lucy misses her kids when they’re with her ex, but she only lives five minutes away from them.
Lucy concluded her video by insisting that there’s nothing wrong with needing that time and space to yourself, and that’s a spot-on message.
Moms really have to make sure they’re their best selves so that they can be there for their kids, and that can’t happen when moms make no time for themselves.
We tend to look at moms as superheroes, unburdened by the impact of having to be strong for everyone around them, but we have to remember, moms are only human, and they need a break too!
@abundantlylucy Replying to @user568512176823 i love my kids but i dont want them full time #coparenting #separation #coparentinggoals #healingtiktok #perthmum
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