She Thinks Her Husband Ruined The Birth Of Their First Child By Forcing Her To Deliver At Home Instead Of Bringing Her To The Hospital Like She Always Wanted
This woman welcomed her first baby – a girl – into the world eight weeks ago, but she sadly feels like her husband ruined the entire experience for her.
That’s because he forced her to give birth at home when she always wanted to deliver at a hospital.
For some context, as soon as she learned she was pregnant, her husband quickly started bombarding her and talking about how she should have a home birth.
“I really do not know why he was so adamant about it, but he was,” she recalled.
“At first, I brushed him off and told him I would think about it because I was only six weeks pregnant, and the birth seemed so far off.”
However, time flew by quickly, and her husband never let her voice her own opinion on the matter.
Whenever they’d go to doctor’s appointments, and she’d get asked whether or not she had a birth plan, her husband would literally talk over her – pushing for a home birth.
Of course, this sparked some arguments between them throughout her entire pregnancy, and she never really wanted to deliver their daughter anywhere but a hospital.
Rather than listening to her, though, she kept getting pressured into going with what her husband wanted.
New Africa – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
In fact, her mother-in-law even sat her down one day and went through all the reasons why her husband didn’t want her to go into labor at a hospital.
“I expressed my concerns about, you know, the safety of the baby and myself, but just like my husband, my mother-in-law brushed me off,” she detailed.
She eventually tried to put her foot down and told her husband that when the time came, she’d be taking herself to the hospital as she genuinely did not want to give birth at home.
Well, he simply acted like he didn’t hear her, and when they met with a doula, she felt the woman was also being very pushy. She was extremely overwhelmed and didn’t think anyone was being supportive of her.
Then, when she finally went into labor at 39 weeks, she absolutely begged her husband to bring her to the hospital so she could see her doctor.
“He wouldn’t. He spoke to me condescendingly and called the doula instead. I was in labor for about three days, active labor for around the last 22 hours,” she revealed.
She couldn’t stop crying the entire time, either. She was scared and thought something was wrong, and her husband and the doula even left her alone for a lot of the time.
At one point, the doula also told her that if she reached 24 hours of active labor, she would need to go to the hospital.
“I remember thinking that I could not decide which was worse – staying in labor for another two hours or having my baby right there,” she admitted.
“I don’t even remember wanting to hold her. I just remember crying out of relief.”
Thankfully, she has recovered and is alright now, but obviously, her first pregnancy experience was terrible. Her doctor was shocked and concerned by what happened as well after learning she’d had her daughter like that.
She wound up flat-out telling her husband that he ruined the birth of their child for her, and due to that, she never wants to go through it again.
“I hear mothers say that they forget all the pain the second they have their baby, but I didn’t. I love my daughter so much, but it was horrible, and it was entirely his fault,” she vented.
Yet, despite telling her husband that multiple times, he never truly listened. He would just roll his eyes at her, claim mothers are “strong,” and accuse her of “not trying to be strong.”
On top of that, when she attempted to make it clear that she’d never do a home birth ever again if they had another child, her husband had the nerve to say, “We’ll see.”
“Everyone around me is acting like this is so normal, but it’s not, is it?” she asked.
That’s why she’s now wondering whether feeling so upset by her husband’s actions is really so unreasonable or not.
How would you feel if your husband disregarded you like that and made the experience so stressful? What should she do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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